Wednesday, November 26, 2008

This Thanksgiving.

It's so close that I can almost smell it. The gloriousness of it all- Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, breads, sweet potato casserole, honey baked ham, pumpkin pie, apple pie etc. Absolutely fantastic! My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

Currently working until 5:00 pm. I so have a case of "short week Holiday syndrome" as in, I don't have an ounce of motivation to work. Isn't that terrible? My mind is currently racing with "to do" lists, things I MUST pack before I leave tonight for Tallahassee and excitement for the holidays!

This week has been a very tiring one and I'm hoping that tomorrow will be a day free of worries, a time to be thankful for family, friends, life in general and all that I am blessed with. I think this year, I have even more to be thankful for. I am thankful for my family, thankful that we are alive and thankful that yet another year has come and gone of which I can look back and say, "Wow, I learned a lot from all of that!".

I'm currently trying with all of my might to seek out the lessons through the trials I am facing, though big or small. I see it as an opportunity to learn. Learning what "not" to do. Learning how to handle difficult situations, learning how to control my emotions and learning how to show more love. I've learned a lot this year and I am thankful for each lesson, even the ones that brought pain and enforced tears.

God is a good God. He desires to give us life and life more abundantly. He desires to lavish us with His love and shed light on our current situations. He longs to be near to us and to hear our heartcries. He craves our attention and even our imperfect love. His love is like no other. His love never fails, never forsakes, never cheats, never lies, and it always brings comfort to my heart. His love never changes, never grows weary, never gives up and it will never betray you. His love is everlasting, eternal, pure, perfect, complete, unconditional, redeeming, reviving, patient, precious, renewing, uncontainable, indescribable, gentle, firm, vast, deep, wide, rich, measureless, strong, comforting and honest. The love of God is greater than any tongue or pen can ever tell. There are no words to describe, no adjectives to fathom it, no minds who can even remotely comprehend it. His love is the ONLY perfect love. Demonstrated for us, for you, for me.

God is Love, and His love is very different from human love. God's love is unconditional, and it's not based on feelings or emotions. He doesn't love us because we're lovable or because we make Him feel good; He loves us because He is love. He created us to have a loving relationship with Him, and He sacrificed His own Son (who also willingly died for us) to restore that relationship.

I feel like I just had a revelation of that love in a way that I never have before.

So with that said, I hope that you have a tremendous Holiday tomorrow and that you get to experience true thankfulness and true appreciation for each and every solitary blessing in your lives.

Eat, drink and be merry! ;)

Happy Day before Thanksgiving!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Careful Hands

I'm completely exhausted, yet restless.

Thank you all so very much for your sweet comments of concern and love. I so appreciate every single one of you and your comforting words. I really do. They mean more to me than you know. I never thought that by starting this blog I would encounter such lovely souls who have really helped make a difference in my life. I love reading about your lives and I have learned a great deal from many of you. I covet your prayers and I do not doubt for one second that you are sincere.

We're all stumbling through life. It's a journey and though miles and miles apart, and though we all lead completely different lives, so many of us are dealing with similar situations. This blog is such a great outlet for me. I know it seems corny and I guess the only people who could even remotely understand would be you guys, my faithful readers and fellow bloggers who have been a wonderful support system.

Writing has always been a way for me to really express myself as well as an escape. I do not write what I do for attention or for pity. Not at all. I write to clear my mind and verbalize all that I have internalized. It's very therapeutic. Am I right?

Things are rough right now. Life is cruel. Disappointment and pain ensue. My heart breaks. I'm burdened and weary and I can't seem to find God in all of this chaos though I know He is near to the brokenhearted. I know that there must be some sort of plan through all of this, there must be. Pray that I would remain pure-hearted. I am terrified of bitterness invading and destroying me, petrified. I hope and pray that my heart would remain open and pure through all of this. It's very difficult.

I'm human.

I put a song on here called "Careful Hands" by Sleeping at Last. The lyrics have resonated within my spirit the past two days.

"Put your coat on, this city trembles.

Keep your chin up, as you untangle God
From cold blood and bruises.

We are X-rays of something broken.
Cursive bloodlines write every forecast:
An orchestration Of dissonance and innocent surrender.

When our color dies,
We will bury the ashes of time,
And we will earn new eyes.

Wrists get tired rewriting futures.
Our bodies beg us to be creatures of habit.
We are creatures of habit."

To me, this song says it all right now. I can't figure God out. I never will be able to. Yet, I trust Him and I am attempting to keep my chin up through all of this. I am learning to see God in the mess, hurt and pain. (Untangling God from cold blood and bruises).

I am broken and shattered and I beg and try to reason with God argumentatively only to come to the realization that all I need to do is surrender. Trials and tests are instruments used to shape and form me.
(Cursive bloodlines write every forecast: An orchestration Of dissonance and innocent surrender.)

I know that one day, in time I will realize the reasoning behind the pain and the purpose for the suffering. (When our color dies, We will bury the ashes of time, And we will earn new eyes.)

I can't foresee the future. I am human and I am susceptible to the frailties of human nature. I crave stability and I crave comfort. I am a creature of habit.
(Wrists get tired rewriting futures. Our bodies beg us to be creatures of habit. We are creatures of habit.")

Basically the song is amazing and I just get it. Who knows the depth that truly lies behind these lyrics but they speak to me.

Go listen.

Thank you all again. So very much.

I just want to give you all huge hugs.

Much love,

I'm losing.

I'm not sure what's worse.

The fact that my sister attempted suicide yet AGAIN or the fact that we are losing. I care and I'm gravely concerned but I am so tired.

I feel numb.


I can't bear to watch my parents go through anything else. I am not going to let her ruin our Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Selfishness is the core. I know she is hurting deeply but the things she puts us through are so emotionally, physically and mentally straining. I feel for her, I really do. This just isn't fair to us though, it just isn't.

People go through much more difficult things in life than just a break-up. People lose children and loved ones, people lose everything and they continue and go on with life.

12:00 am. In a druken stupor, high and completely out of her mind prostrate on the floor of a friend's house. Her wrists slashed and broken from where she purposefully wounds herself. Dad and I pick her up off of the floor and drag her home only to be cursed and yelled at.

I'm not strong anymore but I have to be.

I have to be for my mom but I'm losing.

I don't know my sister. I have no idea who she is anymore.

Sunday, November 23, 2008


My heart feels as though it's been shattered into a thousand pieces.

My family is falling apart and I can't bear to stand back and watch it crumble.

I am on the verge of a meltdown. I have tried hard and fought long and attempted to pretend that it didn't exsist. I've only fooled myself and everyone else into thinking that I have it all together.

It's a lie.

I'm a mess. We're a mess.

Pray for me.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Mixed emotions

Christmas lights are going up around here as people all across Pensacola have already begun to "Deck the Halls". Driving home after work makes me smile as I pass the many homes in our neighborhood who have gotten a jump start on their christmas decor this year. Frosty, Santa, reindeer statues and lights adorn yards and front porches simply inciting a smile across your face as you drive by. Yes, this time of year has rolled around yet again. I love it. Let's not push Thanksgiving aside though! I do so much love Thanksgiving and it seems to always get a little neglected as Christmas follows close behind and ultimately triumphs. They're both amazing holidays and my absolute favorites but Thanksgiving comes FIRST ;)

Not really much to report here.

I'm in denial about my dog. I came home last night after work and she was sitting in the window barking as she does every night that I come home. Her ears perked, tail wagging and with happy little eyes she greets me. I immediately knelt to pet her and tears instantly filled my eyes. The thought of coming home to no bark (as annoying as it is sometimes) and no immediate welcome makes my heart hurt. I still love that little dog. Thankfully, we have a cat who has really captured our hearts but dogs are just different. I do love my cat very much though and I am so thankful that we have him. It will be weird for him as well. They play together a lot. I've already told my mom that I do not want to be at the house when the family comes to get her. I can say my goodbyes before but I just can't bear to watch another family come and happily take "my" dog. It would be way too upsetting for me. So, I'll leave before they come and probably won't even want to come back home after that. My eyes are watery just thinking about it. I don't like this one bit.

This has been a really crappy week. I don't really see it getting much better either.

Hopefully Thanksgiving will help get everything off of my mind. It's like one minute I'll be completely happy and then, boom I'll get a sudden urge to cry. Or one minute I'll be quiet and softspoken and then something minor will set me off. I am not bi-polar- I'm just having an emotional week and all areas of my life seem to be a little crazy and unsettled right now. At least it's Friday...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Looking forward to Thanksgiving and saying goodbye to a beloved pet.

Thanksgiving is exactly one week from tomorrow and I am so excited!! Thanksgiving is definitely one of my most favorite holidays and such a perfect introduction to the Christmas season! I love the smells that eminate from the kitchen as I wake up in the morning, the laughing, bangs of pots and pans, music, and cooking together. It's all just so wonderful. Our annual menu always includes turkey, ham, cream cheese mashed potatoes(mmmm), broccoli casserole, homemade cranberry sauce, green beans, sweet rolls, cheese potato caserole, sweet potato casserole, spinach dip, vegetable dip, pumpkin pie, pumpkin bread, apple pie, and so much more that I can't think of! It's always a delicious feast!

This year we had planned to go to Tennessee to be with my mom's side of the family of which I was looking forward to. However, sudden changes were made and unfortunately we will not be going. I'm pretty sad but will not let it ruin one of my favorite holidays. We will now be going to Tallahassee to spend it with my Dad's side of the family. I'm sure we will have a great time as we will be spending it with my grandparents, 4 aunts and uncles and and 8 little cousins. It will be noisy for sure! Last I heard, my Papa was going to get a hayride to come to the house and pick us up after dinner. =) I'm also very much looking forward to being off work for two days! Whoo hoo!!

Sad news. My parents have come to the conclusion that we are getting rid of our dog whom we've had for nine years, Molly. She has been very sick lately and nothing we do ever seems to help her. We've taken her to numerous Vets who have prescribed her numerous medications. We bathe her constantly, follow all the directions to different treatments and yet her skin still stays very oily, red, itchy, and it causes a terrible smell. I feel so bad for her because she is constantly in pain from it, you can see it in her eyes. I hate it for her. However her condition is worsening and they think it may be something she's allegic to in Florida. We moved to Louisiana for a little while a couple of years ago and she cleared up. I don't know how true that is but whatever. Anyway, a family from Georgia who used to live here and who would occasionally watch Molly when we went out of town have offered to adopt her despite her medical conditions. I know she's sick and maybe she can get help that way but I am selfish and I want to keep her, even if she is sick. We have had her since she was a baby and I love her dearly. Losing a pet is so unbelievably hard. Last night I let her curl up at my feet on the couch and I just cried and cried at the thought of her not being in our house anymore. So very upsetting. I can't take it.

Well now I am a total mess and need to stop before the tears start to flow since I am at work.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Oh dear...

My reasoning for the lack of posting is attributed to being SWAMPED at work. Quite literally. I barely even had time to go to lunch today. I finally was able to go get lunch around 3:10 today. So, as you can tell I have been M.I.A but it's not because I want to be! It seems as though I have been taking the most difficult route possible when it comes to certain things, though not purposely. I suppose my thought process is, "If it doesn't stress me out to the max, give me a stomach ache and cause me to miss my lunch hour than I must not be working hard". Sheeesh! The insurance business can be brutal.

I miss reading your posts, my friends! I'm still here!!

I really do want to write more but my eyes hurt and so does my head and I don't think I can look at a computer screen for another second!

(So much for "deep post" promise.)

Much love to you all!!


Friday, November 14, 2008

I can't think of a title...

Well, I haven't had much time to update this week due to the fact that I have been insanely busy at work. I'm learning a lot more and thus my daily workload is widening. We have a new lady who was hired on as of last week and so far, I love her! She is really sweet, extremely helpful (she has worked for State Farm for 10 years) and fun too. I'm really happy with the adjustment and I think she is going to be a great asset to the office! Good things all around as far as the job front goes. I'm really trying to build up the needed confidence to go hand in hand with my motivation in order to go above and beyond my expectations as an employee. I'm not the greatest sales person to walk the planet, in fact I'm really not too good at all. I'm very easy going and I personally don't like it when people nag me, so when people tell me "no", I say "okay!". Ummm, that needs to change, especially if I want to be a great employee. I would say that my customer service skills FAR outweigh my sales skills. I suppose everyone has their nitch somewhere and mine does not happen to be in sales, unfortunately. I'm open to new ideas and so willing to learn though!

It's Friday, can you see me smiling? :)

Tonight the Gills are playing at Pensacola Beach and I am really looking forward to it. Their music is like a happy drug or something. Look them up on myspace and I'm sure that you won't be disappointed. They're good friends as well. I'm happy and thankful for good friends. I am blessed. I've been hanging out with new people lately and I'm really enjoying getting to know some really sweet girls.

Happy all around. Good times ahead.

I've kept my word as far as my spin class goes! Aren't you proud? I haven't missed a week yet!! Can you say PROGRESS? I am quite happy with it and it is SUCH a stress reliever. Not to mention my best friend has been accompanying lately and we've been kicking some major butt! Love it! Love the adrenaline, the speed and even the pain, oddly.

I was at our mall last night and they have already started decorating for Christmas. I got SO excited that I waltzed down to Starbucks, purchased a peppermint mocha and walked around soaking in all of the sights as well as the plethora of holiday scents eminating from the Yankee Candle store! Such a great feeling! I then walked outide into the reality of the 70 degree weather and it totally ruined my euphoria. Oh Florida, why must you insist on being so bipolar when it comes to the weather?

Wow, this is a pretty boring post. The next one will have more depth, I promise :)

Have a fabulous weekend!!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

It is well with my soul...

"When peace like a river attendeth my way
When sorrow like sea billows roll
Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say
It is well, it is well with my soul"

My all time favorite hymn was sung last night in the midst of many young people during a "hardcore" show. I'm not a hardcore music fan, AT ALL. I actually hate it to be honest with you. I knew that the band was Christian but I was NOT expecting them to bust out in this old hymn after their rendition of roaring screams and barking guitars. They were solemn and peaceful as they sang this song and it brought much comfort to my heart.

Everytime I hear this hymn, I cry. I just can't help it. It ushers an unreal peace into my spirit and it's almost as if I can feel my soul being held.

The concept of this old tune is amazing if you really think about it and comprehend the lyrics. Though current situations and circumstances attempt to rob me of my peace, contentment, and joy there is something much deeper than what I'm scratching the surface of and there is a place where I can find refuge and safety, where my mind and heart can be at ease.

The story behind this song is very inspiring and influential. Horatio Spafford wrote these words having undergone several traumatic events in his life. The first was the death of his only son in 1871, shortly followed by the Great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer). Then in 1873 he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the S.S. Ville e Havre but sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business. While crossing the Atlantic the ship sank rapidly after a collision with another ship, and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone." Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died. These words rang deep within his spirit and inspired one of today's most popular hymns.

The loss that this man suffered cannot even remotely compare to my current situations and yet, he penned these words as if contending with God that He was sufficient enough. That though he was aching as though he had never ached before, it was well with his soul.

I don't know what you're going through but I do know that we all face difficult situations and unfortunate circumstances along this journey and it can be overwhelming to say the least. I know for me, I tend to always shove things so far down inside as if pretending it's all okay, when in fact, it isn't. God is revealing to me the act of truly "laying it all down", whether I'm overwhelmed with sadness, anxiety, grief, anger, hurt, bitterness or whatever it may be that I am feeling. His grace is sufficient for me and his power is made perfect when I am so weak and despaired. Though my current situation doesn't bring me peace and contentment, He does. And despite my state of emotion, It is well with my soul.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble with its tumult.” -Psalm 46:1-3

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” -John 14:27

Monday, November 10, 2008

It's amazing what a compliment can do...

Oh Monday, you're so bittersweet. Bitter being that you are the reminder that my weekend is in fact, over. And sweet in the aspect that you're the beginning of a fresh new week! Today, though, you have nearly clobbered me with endless amounts of paperwork, challenged me at playing that annoying game of "catch up" of which I do not so much appreciate, and allowed the phone to steadily ring, giving me a not so much needed headache. Nevertheless, you did bear some joyous news today of which I am very grateful.

You see, this last month has been quite hectic seeing that there have only been two staff people in the office (Myself and Brian) and both have had to take on more than their load. Well, upon arriving this morning, my oh so generous boss asked to speak with me for a moment and assured me that it was "good news". He then persisted to thank me for being flexible this last month and applauded Brian and I for our work, service-wise and production-wise. He said he'd like to award me with two half days off in the coming weeks (paid)! He then went on to tell me that he has had countless phone calls to him from policyholders and other State Farm staff members complimenting him on me and my professionalism, poise and kindness! "Me?! Are you serious?!", I thought. I couldn't believe it. He also stated that he has been very pleased with my performance since I have been hired on late January of this year and he is looking forward to helping me achieve higher goals.

(Please do not think for one instance that I am writing this to elevate myself in anyway because I am not. I was absolutely shocked by this conversation and I wanted to share my excitement and I thought, "who better than my bloggy buddies?")

I'm really not the type of person to get all big headed about such a huge and very edifying compliment but it definitely does make me want to continue to be the absolute best employee that I can be and even strive to be better! I'm pretty sure that I am in one of the most positive working environments that I have ever been in and it has indefinitely caused me to thrive and desire to learn and achieve more!

If this post seems braggadocios in the least bit, that is not my intention whatsoever. I promise =)

Friday, November 7, 2008

An unexpected call...

Sitting at my desk, the place I seem to spend more time than any other. The place where I happen to be right this very moment and the place where I sit and write my heart out when the office is dead.

The phone rings...

Of course, that is entirely normal and happens to be a big part of my job. Yes, I answer phones among MANY other daily activities and responsibilities. When the phone rings I instinctively reach out and answer with...

"Casey Roberts' State Farm Office. This is Amber, how can I help you?"

A quivering voice on the other end replied, "Hello?"

I said, "Hello, how can I help you today?"

She then proceeded to give me her name, so I could look up her policy and accurately assist her with whatever she needed.

I then said "Alright Mrs. (very hesitant and softspoken lady), what can I do for you today regarding this policy?

With bated breath and in a shaky voice she responded with, "I need you to take (17 yr old son's name) off of this policy, please?

I agreed to do so, but for rating purposes was forced to ask "why" we must take him off of the policy, and that if he is still in the household he MUST be rated on another vehicle since he is licensed and is a youthful operator.

She proceeded with, "Honey, he's not here anymore, he's not with us anymore."

My heart sank.

I knew exactly what she meant and the tone of her voice said it more clear than the words she was speaking.

At this point my mind was racing with thoughts and I could not find any words to offer her, so I simply said, "I am so so sorry".

She responded with a "Thank you darlin" and continued with "One day he was fine, making straight A's, he had a sweet girlfriend, ran track and was walking the halls of the school and then a week later, he died. He was diagnosed with Crohn's Disease and the doctors said it wasn't fatal and two weeks later, he died."

My eyes welled up with tears as I heard the break in her voice and the desperation in her words. She was aching. I felt helpless as I am simply the girl at the insurance office who is going to remove her beloved son from his auto policy at the tender age of 17 because he is now deceased. How tragic.

I offered my condolences and prayers. I sat in tears as I listened to her go on and on about how proud she was of him and how much he had ahead of him. I didn't interrupt, I didn't say I word, I simply listened. She opened her heart and broke to me and all I could do was listen.

My heart literally hurt for her.

Our conversation ended gracefully as we spoke of our faith (She is a devout Christian) but how when tested with such tragic circumstances it's often easy to have none when you need it the most.

She was an absolute sweetheart and I ache when I revert back to that call today. All day it has haunted me and I feel as though I was supposed to answer that call for a reason. I'm still unsure of what it is but perhaps it was for me to simply listen.

I may just be the girl who works at the insurance office but I sincerely felt deep, deep sadness for this mother and I desperately tried to place a face with her name but coming to the realization that we have thousands of policyholders, I was not able to come to a conclusion.

You just never know the breaking hearts you come in contact with daily at work, school, running errands and even when answering the phone.

Defining the silver lining...

Today I find myself in a state of peace. I find my heart feeling contentment as I delve inwardly and re-examine my motives of which can be so increasingly wrong in various aspects.

God is so good, faithful and just. At the moment, it is very easy to panic, worry, feel disappointed and despaired and mope around. I am bigger than that and this gives me all the more reason and desire to pray and to stand up for what I believe in. This gives me the opportunity to talk to people and introduce substance to my beliefs. God is renewing and refreshing my perspective on all of this and I am coming to grips with reality. The world as we know it is not over. I woke up to another day, thankful for each breath that I take and thankful for yet, another beautiful day complete with blue skies and a brightly shining sun.

One scripture keeps coming to mind as I contemplate and recollect recent events that have unraveled and while unfortunate, it is reality.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about it's own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."Matthew 6:34

I am not writing this to justify what is happening in our country. We have every right to be of grave concern as we watch what is unfolding and I, for one will admit that it is very scary. For the sake of ourselves, our future, our children's future, our values, morals and beliefs, perhaps that this enforces so great a "change" that we will have no choice but to rise up against the corruption and abuse of authority and show that morality and ethics are vital. Perhaps this could be the tide turning? Maybe things really must get much worse before they will begin to get better. Perhaps this "change" can and will strengthen conservatism and bring us back to our roots?

Of course this is simply my personal view. Should Barack Obama's administration improve the state of our economy and lead our country forward with inegrity and sound judgement then that will be phenominal. I just simply do not agree with their process of doing so and find most of it appalling and impossible, to be perfectly honest with you. This is not a time to spew hatred, nor is this a time to simply sulk for the sake of sulking. Yes, we're disenchanted but we are not defeated.

I still do not stand to think that Obama was the best choice for our country but he was the choice and he will be our President for the next 4 years. I do not agree with him but I will pray for him because he is at the wheel of many crucial things that are taking place and he will ultimately steer.

I still do not believe that we really know the real Barack Obama and time will tell whether or not he is efficient to lead us in the right direction.

He does have my prayer support and I will hope for the best with reality in perspective. I'm not overly optimistic in the fact that when my hopes are not met, I am highly disappointed. I am not overly pessimistic because that is negativity and it makes you age faster (fact!). I am a realist who leans toward being moderately optimistic and who relies fully on her faith and trust in a higher power than any governing authority.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control. He is my constant in the chaos, the rock that never fails, the refuge from the storm and my provider in times of need. He is just in all of His ways and He will serve judgement where judgement is due and honor where honor is due. I am no one to make such judgements about people, their motives or their hearts but I can judge by the content of their chracter. The Bible clearly tell us to "judge a tree by the fruit it bears".

I suppose this was my mere attempt of showing support to our future leaders although at the moment, that only support is prayer support.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Election Day 2008.

Get to the polls!!! I have yet to vote but will be heading to the polls at 2:00pm to vote for the very first time ever!! I'm excited, nervous, anxious, hopeful and scared.

This is such a historical election and I am praying like mad that these polls here lately really let us down as I've hoped that they would. The only polls that speak volumes are the polls today and while I am still hopeful for McCain, I am also extremely nervous.

We're having an election party tonight at my house. I am excited, it should be fun to watch the coverage with friends and family.

By the end of the night I guarantee you that I'll be crying, whether or not those tears are of joy or despair, we shall see.

Don't neglect your voice today as I really hope that all of you are registered and are voting! If not-oh my, just don't even tell me because you'll get an earful (or an eyeful from reading what I say).

I openly support John McCain and Sarah Palin and I am a PROUD republican and conservative. I simply cannot support a candidate who is for governmental handouts and discourages hard work and small business innovation. I cannot support a candidate who has relations with domestic and national terrorists and radical anti-american's. I cannot support a candidate who is pro-abortion and has voted against care for infants born alive during the abortion process. I cannot support a candidate who wants to "spread the wealth" to many who already take full advantage of the system. I cannot support a candidate who wishes to take away our second amendment right, the right to bear arms. Criminals don't follow gun control laws as it is, what makes you think that they are just going to give their guns up now? I cannot support a candidate who wants to "change" initially everything yet has NO record of actually being a catalyst for change in the past. What exactly does his "change" entail?

Those who are voting for "change"-should Obama'll get your "change". Change isn't always a good thing, you know.

I fear that people will simply vote for Obama due to the exhaustion and anger toward the current administration. Disenchantment with the state of the economy is bound to affect the voters, no doubt. I just hope that they weigh in both sides and really evaluate their decision. In order for our economy to progress we need LESS governmental control. The government got us into this mess to begin with. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, hello! It all started there and it was a spiral downward. Government is NOT the answer folks, it's the freakin problem. And stop blaming Bush for everything already, it's so annoying.

Just remember this...

America is a great nation. We enjoy freedom that so many would give (or have given) their lives for. We are despised by many in the world because we are so great and because we live a life that is simply a "dream" to others. We are blessed beyond belief.

And now some quotes from a very wise man and one of the greatest Presidents of the United States...

"You and I are told increasingly that we have to choose between a left or right, but I would like to suggest that there is no such thing as a left or right. There is only an up or down--up to a man's age-old dream, the ultimate in individual freedom consistent with law and order--or down to the ant heap totalitarianism, and regardless of their sincerity, their humanitarian motives, those who would trade our freedom for security have embarked on this downward course.

In this vote-harvesting time, they use terms like the "Great Society," or as we were told a few days ago by the President, we must accept a "greater government activity in the affairs of the people." But they have been a little more explicit in the past and among themselves--and all of the things that I now will quote have appeared in print. These are not Republican accusations. For example, they have voices that say "the cold war will end through acceptance of a not undemocratic socialism." Another voice says that the profit motive has become outmoded, it must be replaced by the incentives of the welfare state; or our traditional system of individual freedom is incapable of solving the complex problems of the 20th century. Senator Fullbright has said at Stanford University that the Constitution is outmoded. He referred to the president as our moral teacher and our leader, and he said he is hobbled in his task by the restrictions in power imposed on him by this antiquated document. He must be freed so that he can do for us what he knows is best. And Senator Clark of Pennsylvania, another articulate spokesman, defines liberalism as "meeting the material needs of the masses through the full power of centralized government." Well, I for one resent it when a representative of the people refers to you and me--the free man and woman of this country--as "the masses." This is a term we haven't applied to ourselves in America. But beyond that, "the full power of centralized government"--this was the very thing the Founding Fathers sought to minimize. They knew that governments don't control things. A government can't control the economy without controlling people. And they know when a government sets out to do that, it must use force and coercion to achieve its purpose. They also knew, those Founding Fathers, that outside of its legitimate functions, government does nothing as well or as economically as the private sector of the economy."

-President Ronald Reagan


His words ring true, still. Perhaps we could change the words up a bit. Referring to the war on terror rather than the cold war and I would have to say that these words very much apply to the position that we find ourselves in today. Bigger government is NOT the answer, by no means. We're on the fast track to becoming socialistic nation should we adopt such ideas. Tragically, so many have no idea the "change" that they are casting their vote for.

The first thing that happens when a country turns into a socialist country is that one party takes complete control of the government. Which could quite possibly happen. The second thing that happens is that party would take control of the media. Which has already begun to and would happen with the fairness doctrine. The third thing that happens is that the controlling party would CHANGE the system to ensure that they maintain control of the government. Probably by changing the election system, redistricting, changing the electoral college, etc. The one thing that protects Democracy from those who would prefer Socialism, is the fact that there are three branches of government. The checks and balances in our branches of government is the only protection that we have from a one party rule. Sadly, our government is no longer what it used to be. Socialism doesn't happen overnight, nor does it happen by sudden force takeover. No, it starts within and it happens slowly, little by little. Compromise seeps in and people get leary and fail to stand up. Little by little.

May God have mercy and I pray that he opens our eyes and that tonight, the right choice is made. Whomever is elected, I know that God is in control and I trust Him but that does not diminutize the fear that I may possess.

Vote for whomever you support and I really hope you know why you support your candidate.

God Bless you all.