My eyes are sick =(

In other news, I checked back with my eye doctor last Friday afternoon to be sorely informed that I absolutely have to take a break from contacts altogether this week. This was extremely disappointing, as I totally despise having to wear my glasses .

Apparently my corneas are severely scarred and if not treated properly now, could require surgery in the future. I have to apply medicated drops 4 times a day to both eyes in hopes that they will be on the mend. According to my doctor, my corneas look like "skinned up knees". Awesome. Not good news. Glasses suddenly didn't sound half as bad anymore. My vanity is just going to have to subside for now as the main objective is for my eyes to be healthy again. So, I'm wearing spectacles and I feel as nerdy and insecure as can be but Ben happens to love them (so he says), so that definitely helps.

I would absolutely love to have lasik surgery. I've done some research and it's definitely something I would invest into in the future should these problems and complications persist. I don't understand why I was born with such horrible vision but it really is a huge inconvenience. My mom has a disease of the cornea called keratoconus. It basically means her cornea is cone shaped as opposed to rounded and creates a plethora of complications impairing depth perception and negating peripheral vision. My grandmother also had this disease. So unfortunate. Thank God that I show no signs of it. However, my eyes are not as heathly as they should be and for me being so young, that is not cool.

So, glasses it is. I feel like I did when I was 9 and got my first pair of glasses. I was so embarrassed to go to school and sure enough, the cruel kids poked fun and made the rudest of comments. I tucked them gently into my backpack for the remainder of the day until my teacher (who noted my squinting and had seen me previously wearing them) demanded that i wear them. It really was amazing how clear my world and surroundings had become by placing these frames upon my nose but being the shy, insecure and very self conscious child that i was, I simply could not stand the fact that my appearance had drastically changed to that of a "nerd". It was a crisis to me. Once I turned 13, I acquired my first pair of contact lenses and swore I would never go back to glasses and I haven't- until now, that is.

I have another appointment on Friday afternoon, so she can check them and maybe try some softer lenses (hopefully).

I suppose this is good for me. I just want my eyes to get better. =/