I'm aching to go.

I've always been intrigued by overseas missions work and ministry. There are SO many places I want to go, dream about going and hope to go to and I believe that in time, God is more than able to make these dreams reality. For now though, I'm secure in my job in corporate America but often find myself longing to do something more with my life.

I feel like I've been thrust back where my heart should be regarding this.

For the past few weeks, I have been thinking about India in particular and can't get my mind off of it. Yes, I watched "Slumdog Millionare" and that was a definite trigger I'm sure, but my dad has been to India twice and I'm always so interested to hear the stories and experiences he shares from those trips. They truly do sound life changing.

So, yesterday I was thinking about how badly I want to go on an overseas trip to a country I have yet to go to (which leaves it pretty wide open as I have only been to two in my life) and again, I could not get India off of my mind. I was browsing on facebook and noticed one of my friends had just returned from there and was going through her pictures and it only intensified my wanting to go. THEN, last night at our Bible study my Dad shared about India and THEN, last night I chatted with a very dear and precious missionary friend of mine who does missions work in Ghana and she also stated to me that she has a burning passion to go to India! Needless to say, I really felt like these were all God encounters and that God is going to orchestrate a team to go next year. I am praying about it for sure.

There is a ministry in Visakhapatnam, India where my dad has been twice. It is called Love-N-Care and they have orphanages, hospitals, schools and do a lot of ministering in the slum and tribal areas by providing mental and spiritual development to those in need. It really is an amazing ministry and Pastor Yesupadam is a very humble and contrite man. I have had the profound privilege of meeting him before when he and his family were in the States. Their website is here.

I am really hoping that something comes of all of this and that it doesn't just remain a distant dream. God willing, I'll be going to India next year!

The last two weeks have been unbelievable.

I haven't been as faithful as usual to update mostly because these last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind!

My trip up north was just incredible! I can't even tell you how wonderful it was seeing everyone, relaxing and just having a ton of fun with my family and friends. It was truly a blessing and I am so glad I had the opportunity to go. Coming back to reality was bittersweet. I certainly could have stayed longer had I been permitted. I was given the amazing opportunity to photograph my beautiful cousin and her fiance's engagement pictures. I had so much fun doing it and will be sure to post some of them soon for your viewing.

Last weekend was crazy as it was the BRSM (Brownsville Revival School of Ministry) reunion. I did not expect it to be as amazing as it was. I was completely overwhelmed by the sea of people who showed up for it and my heart lept with joy to see such sweet faces that I have missed so much. God was present as we worshipped him together, remembered all the things He had done in the past and looked forward to what He is going to do in the future. It was a bit surreal to be back in that building as it had been nearly 10 years since I had. My dad was one of the keynote speakers and did an outstanding job (so I hear). I was unable to attend his session due to work. =/ So proud of him.

We had a big memorial day cookout on Monday and I would say between 65-70 people came out to our house. It felt just like old times and I savored every single second. It was so difficult saying goodbye to everyone. I know that dwelling on the past can be unhealthy but I would give anything to be able to go back to those days. They were some of the happiest times of my life and I think I took it for granted. However, I am really trying to learn and take advantage of where God has me right here and now. I don't want to remember these present days as being taken for granted.

Needless to say, it was a week filled with refreshing and renewal for me. God sweetly reminded me of His enduring faithfulness and love. I was enveloped by His presence very heavily particularly on Sunday morning and night. I hadn't felt Him that close in quite some time and it was such a relief to weep before Him and feel held. He is so good. I don't know why I've ever doubted Him.

My heart was deeply saddened the last night of the conference as I glanced around at all of the familiar faces after 5 short days and said goodbye again. I'm hoping that this becomes an annual event. I would say nearly 800 people came in town for it including families, alumni students, overseas missionaries, previous teachers and professors, the old worship leaders, musicians and teams. It really was quite surreal. I am so thankful that I was able to be apart of what God did in the years before through the Brownsville Revival. It was there that I dedicated my life to Lord and was radically changed forever as I was arrested by His presence and swept into His love and mercy. Though hurtful things happened to me and so many others during those years as man interrupted God and people began to put them on pedastals, I believe with every fiber of my being that what God began there was pure and holy. I am thankful for everything I learned, whether it be the good times or the really hard times. I formed some of the most amazing relationships out of that place and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

I am thankful that God restores and aligns our hearts with His when we need it. I pray that I never become too prideful to say "I messed up and I need you.". I believe that pride in ministry is one, if not the biggest downfall and cause of division and disunity in the church. This causes unreal hurt. Trust me, I've been there. We must set our eyes and affections on Jesus because He really is the only one who will never fail us or disappoint us.

I am so thankful for this last weekend, for the reminders of the many lessons I learned, remembering everything that God did inside of me during those formative years and for the ability of embracing my dear friends again.

Kid's Portraits

I managed to capture a few photos of some really adorable kids while I was up north. I'm still trying to get better with all of the editing and whatnot but here are a few for your viewing, if you please. :)

My cousin's gorgeous little girl, sweet Abigail Grace.


















Adorable Daniel. Such sweet dimples.













































Hailey Olivia Brown. My friend's little girl. She is an absolutely gorgeous baby!


























Could they possibly be any cuter??

Finally Friday...

Who else is stoked about their 3 day weekend? (I hope you're all getting one!)

Interestingly enough, the Bible college I attended and where my Dad used to teach is having a reunion this weekend, so I will be seeing many people whom I haven't seen in quite some time. We have some dear friends who came un for it staying with us and I am pretty excited to see everyone.

Memorial day shall entail a luxurious cookout with great food and lots of fun with many wonderful people! I'm looking forward.

Unfortunately, the weather forecast tells me that it is supposed to rain ALL weekend. I refuse to accept it as truth just yet. A family has requested that I take some pictures of them out at the beach and rain would obviously ruin this plan. Not to mention, I would love nothing more than some beach time! ::Crossing my fingers::

If you didn't read my post about my friend's new baby, you can do so here. The news they have recently received is not necessarily good but I am firmly believing for little Silas' complete and total healing and restoration. I know that God is more than able to perform a miracle in his little body. Pray for strength and peace for this precious family as they go through this. Pray that his organs would function as fully intended and that Doctors and nurses would be amazed at his progress and healing.

I hope that you all have a wonderful holiday weekend.

And the winner is...

First of all, I'll have you know that I have not missed one single episode of American Idol this season. We have DVR and if I know I will not be home for some reason while it airs, I'll record it. It's really the only show I have kept up with this year. So, can you imagine my disappointment when we started watching the FINALE, the last show, the one where we find out who wins and at 7:15 just as we are getting into it, BOOM our electricity goes out??? SERIOUSLY?!?!? Needless to say, my mom, sisters and I were were more than irritated. We called Gulf Power and they didn't come out until 8:30 to fix the problem, so it came back at 8:40 JUST IN TIME for us to see who won. Shew! I'm still upset that I missed all of the performances though. Perhaps I can watch it online somewhere. Oh well.

Can I just say that I screamed when Ryan Seacrest uttered the words "Kris Allen" pertaining to the winner of this season! It was a good scream, might I add! I am so happy that he won. Adam is most definitely a very talented performer and vocalist but there was just something about him that I could not stand. We all know that he will go somewhere though. I'm sure he's already had thousands of offers from various labels. I've loved Kris from the beginning. He is an amazing vocalist and talented musician. He totally deserves it, in my opinion!!

Yay for Kris Allen and his adorable wife!

P.S. Our wireless router is still not working and our desktop is ridiculously slow, so I still can't post the pictures from my trip due to that reason. :)

Silas Caiden Stewart

A very dear friend/mentor of mine recently gave birth to her second son, Silas Caiden. He was born perfect and is a beautiful baby boy. However, not too long after he was born there were some abnormalties regarding his brain as the Doctor stated that his soft spot was "too soft". They did tests and found that there was blood and fluid around the brain and immediately took him into surgery. He is progressing but still needs as much prayer as he can get, as well as his dear parents.

Conincidently, while I was up north I was only about 45 min away from the hospital he was in and was able to pay a visit to see them. I am so glad that I did. It was amazing seeing Adam and Tara again and meeting their precious Silas.

Should you wish to follow Adam's blog on this journey that they are on, you can find it here. They are an amazing couple with two beautiful boys and God has indefinitely used them to minister to and touch so many lives. They are youth Pastors at a church in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Tara was my mentor and cell group leader for quite a few years when I was in my teens and I've always loved her and valued her advice, opinion and friendship. Adam was apart of my Parent's mentoring group at BRSM, the Bible College my Dad used to be the director of. They are such a great couple and wonderful examples of God's love. I admire them so much. Their faith is so inspiring and refreshing.

Please pray for this family, if you will. They need all that they can get. We're all believing God for a miracle as we all know He is more than capable of performing. Silas is already showing signs of improvement as you can read in Adam's blog. Thank you Jesus!

I know I promised stories and pictures from my trip but our wireless router isn't working, so I am unable to get online on my laptop and that is where all of the pictures are. Ugh. Hopefully we'll have it up and running very soon. It's driving me crazy.

Until then, Ill give a bit of a rundown on last night.

We had a house show last night. Two bands came and played in our great room and nearly 50 people showed up for it! It was a really great time. Bradley Hathaway, a gifted poet and songwriter performed and while his style is very unique, it was also very intriguing and left me speechless. The Ember Days are a worship a band from New Zealand and they came and played at The Red Door venue (for those of you new to my blog, The Red Door was a music venue my family owned and operated for a year and it closed down this past December...RIP). So, I had heard them before and was quite impressed with their musical talent as well as their pure hearts. They are truly anointed worshipers and our home was filled with gorgeous melodies and harmonies to the Lord. It was very serene and peaceful. I absolutely loved it.

Afterwards, we all gathered around insturments in various rooms in our house and everyone was singing or playing something. It was SO much fun! Someone recently blessed us with a really nice keyboard, just gave it to us! My parents purchased a piano for me years ago that I love dearly but I had been wanting a nice keyboard for some time now so this came as a surprise, a very pleasant one.

While I was on vacation, I was somewhat forced to sing and play piano twice in two different churches. I hadn't sang or played in front of a large crowd in I don't know how long and I was extremely nervous (as I always am) but once my fingers hit the keys and I opened my mouth, I was so at peace. I love making music and I love it even more when it is a sound of worship to my sweet Jesus. I have neglected to do what I have such a passion for due to my insecurity, fear and nervousness. I need not be so fixated on doing everything perfectly and more concerned with lavishing praise and giving Jesus the worship He so deserves.

Lately, I have been so aimless. I know what I want, desperately but I often resent any opportunity that comes my way. Why? I believe it's because I feel ridiculously unworthy and unqualified for what I see as such a high honor. I was reminded last night that NO ONE is exactly "worthy". We're all a bunch of humans, sinners and sometimes ungrateful people who are blessed to have the opportunity of knowing Jesus and living for Him. We didn't deserve what He did and still don't. I take His mercy and grace for granted and yet He still extends it to me what I am so in need of it. This alone gives me reason to worship Him.

I know this was kind of random but it was just something that was on my heart.

She's back!

I'm back from vacation and did not have a minute to update this thing while I was away, as you can very well see. Partly due to the fact that I did not have internet connection where I was staying which wasn't a bad thing. It was kind of nice to take a break from everything. I did miss reading up on all of your's though and I have a LOT of catching up to do.

I had the most amazing time. It was bittersweet coming home yesterday and I would have stayed longer had I been permitted but today is back to work, life and routine. Ugh.

It was such an amazing week! I did so much from playing photographer, enjoying the strawberry festivities with my family, laughing until I couldn't breathe and so much more! I will be sure to post pictures later. Until then, it's back to work for me!

Hope you all had an incredible week! I'm back in the game now ;)

Leaving on a jetplane...

Good morning most lovely people!

Well, this time tomorrow I will be boarding a plane to Atlanta, GA and then boarding a plane to Pittsburgh, PA to see one of my dearest and best friends! I am so excited and also a little nervous because I've only flown a total of four times in my life and I am what one would call "a white knuckled flier". I tend to get a little queezy and nervous before I board a plane. I plan to take my ipod and simply listen to some peaceful music to get my mind off of the fact that I am thousands of feet in the air. I also like to to tell myself, "The pilot is looking out for himself too." This thought seems to give me some sort of comfort.

Thankfully, my Dad is also flying with me. This kind of happened last minute but I am very much at ease with this because I have never flown alone and while I know that I am perfectly capable of doing so (as I will be on my way home), my layover in ATL is only 40 min!!! Apparently, this is NOT good. Should there be any sort of delay, I'd be toast because I am not very familiar with the airport and it is HUGE. Whereas my Dad has flown pretty much every weekend these past two years and well let's just say, ATL airport may very well be like a second home to him. He knows the ropes all too well. He had been planning to make a trip up north to visit family and friends and has speaking engagements as well and Pittsburgh happens to be a central location to fly into in accordance to where he and I both are going. So, he made a point to book himself on my same flight! However, he gets to fly first class due to his "Medallion" skymiles. Ughh. Lucky dog. I'm just glad it worked out for him to fly on the same plane as me. Just pray we don't miss our connection!

I will try my absolute best to update as much as possible while I'm away and you know that I will be back with a ridiculous amount of pictures!! Should you not see me post as frequently as I usually do, you'll know why. I'm on VACATION as of tomorrow! Those words are like music to my ears.

I have so much work to catch up on today and lots of packing to do tonight. I'll be busy busy busy but alas, tomorrow, the fun begins!!

Hope you all have a marvelous day!

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P.S. Wedded Whims is hosting a 100th post giveaway!! So, go on over, become a follower of her wonderful blog and check out her darling finds from Pottery Barn and West Elm that she is giving away and enter!

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P.S.S If you ever get bored and would like to basically read my life story, my Mom did an amazing job of formulating a timeline of our family life (minus some details). Anyway, you can find it here. She is a very gifted writer and I like to think I learned a thing or two from her ;) It's been a crazy and difficult, yet amazing ride. I must warn you, it's a bit lengthy.

I miss it.

The day I lost my beloved, tattered Bible will forever be etched in my memory. I can't tell you how I cried for weeks to come in mourning to have her back.

When I was around the age of 11, my Dad brought home three leather bound Bibles for my sisters and I. At that time in my life, purple was my most favorite color and he made sure that I was given the beautifully colored plum purple Bible. I was delighted as it was just the right size for me. Not too small, not too big and the color was vibrant and happened to be my absolute favorite. It was as if it was tailor made for me. There were plenty of blank note pages in the back where he had hand written the first to me and it was special, oh so special. Along the years, many important people who had impacted my life in some way or another had also written something to me in this Bible per my request.

This Bible went everywhere with me. She fit quite nicely in my oversized purse. I made a habit of color coding scriptures that spoke to me in various ways and wrote endless amounts of notes upon her pages of things that God had spoken to me or opened my eyes to over the years. I cried many tears over her pages, whether it be tears of sorrow, confusion or joy. This Bible was precious to me and was a huge part of my life. It's worn pages and markings made it all the more beautiful to me.

Two years ago I accompanied my Pastor at the time and her children to a Spanish Conference at Aliento del Cielo, a ministry of Christ for the Nations in Dallas, TX as we were to sing in the choir. It was a tremendous experience and I loved every second of it. I was interning/working in a spanish church at the time and a big part of my role consisted of worship and music. I learned to sing in a different language and I loved it, so this experience was definitely amazing. I was among many other passionate worshipers and amazing voices and it was so much fun!

You can see a picture here. (It would not allow me to save a picture and post due to copyright reasons). I am obviously the only blonde in the choir. Haha. The one on the end to the far left, second row from the top, that's me! :)

Anyway, aside from how amazing the trip in itself was, it was also very sad for me. It was at this time that my beloved Bible was lost. Being in the choir had it's perks during the conference. We were rewarded with reserved seating among a very, very large crowd and we had access to many different parts of the building. Upon arriving, we were all given a black tote back with the words enscripted, "Cree todo es Posible" which means, "Believe all things are Possible". This also happened to be the name and theme of the conference. I tenderly placed my Bible and journal inside this tote and they remained there for the remainder of the trip unless of course, I was utilizing them.

When we arrived to the auditorium on the second night, I placed my purse and tote in a seat where the choir had reserved seating. I so regret this action. At the end of the 2nd night I headed down to my seat and gathered my purse and tote. When the service had begun and we were asked to get out our Bibles, I reached into my bag and neither my Bible, nor my journal was there! I started to panic a little and realized, "Oh someone must have just gotten their bag mixed up with mine." As I glanced down the aisle, there must have been nearly a hundred other black totes that were exactly the same. I kind of started freaking out and came to the conclusion that whoever had it would certainly turn it into lost & found before the conference was over. So, I checked immediately after the service, nothing. I didn't freak out yet as Pastor Elizabeth stated that we still had 2 more services to look for it. The next morning I headed to lost & found again hoping that it would be there and again, nothing.

I told myself throughout the remainder of the conference "Cree todo es Posible" (Believe, ALL things are possible). I just knew that I would be reunited with my Bible before we left for home. I had to be.

The very last night of the conference was a live recording, so we did not sit down one time. We stood and sang for 3 hours straight to record the cd "Cree Todo Es Posible" by Marco Barrientos. Great CD, might I add. Well, if you happen like spanish worship music anyway ;)

After the service was over and my feet and voice were as worn as they could possibly be, I headed down to lost & found one last time and prayed the whole way there, "God, please let it be there, please." Again, nothing. My heart sank and hot tears instantly surfaced and began to stream from my eyes. I was devastated. The girl at the desk could obviously tell I was upset about it and took my name and number and promised to call me if it turned up.

I left without my precious Bible and immediately called my Dad sobbing as if something really tragic had just occured. In my eyes and heart, it had.

Days after the conference, I called to check and see if it had been turned in. It hadn't. Weeks and even months later, I continued to call until I just accepted that I would probably never see it again.

Perhaps God wanted someone else to have it? Maybe He had spoken something to me years ago that I wrote down that would in turn speak to someone else. I know that God works in mysterious ways and I would only hope that whoever possesses this Bible now cherishes it as much as I did.

I still would love nothing more than to have it back, though. I honestly could cry right now just thinking about it.

Update.

Thank you for all your sweet, sweet comments on my previous post. I don't deserve such comments but you're always so faithful to leave them. I truly appreciate it. You make my days brighter.

I hope you all had a fabulous Cinco de Mayo. Mine was spent with my Mama eating a delicious dinner she prepared and watching American Idol as we religiously do every Tuesday and Wednesday night. My predicition tells me that tonight will be Kris' last. =/ Sad to say because I really like him.

Do you rememeber when I wrote about how some things were starting to unfold with my family that I couldn't really go too much into detail about here? Well, I will elaborate for you just a little as I'm sure more details will come in the near future as things pan out. My dad has been burdened for some time now to plant a church, whether or not it be something that looks completely different from churches we are used to or similar. Regardless, his heart is to pastor. He has always been in some sort of ministry but has a heart to really impact this generation and in this area in particular. This is not something that we have not prayed about before. However, we all know that timing is a huge matter when it comes to God starting something. We cannot force His hand nor can we manipulate His perfect timing.

My dad began a fast and prayed for a while to really be in tune and hear what God was speaking. During that time we received confirmation after confirmation. God sent people to encourage, pray and even support us.

We have some really good friends over in Wales, UK who my parents met years and years ago. My dad went with a team of Bible college students back in 1999 and he spoke in their church and they immediately felt a connection with him and our family. We never lost contact with them and over the years they have come and visited us and my parents have made a few trips there. They are absolutely amazing and inspiring and they have such a genuine and pure heart for God and people. I love them.

So, Mr. Wales (not his last name but we'll just call him that) called my dad a couple of weeks ago and stated that he felt as though he and his wife were supposed to move here and help us! That was huge!!! They are from Wales, they have children and grandchildren there. However, they would only come for a couple of years, if that to help us get it off the ground.

So, tomorrow night begins a series of prayers meetings and gatherings. Praying for direction, praying for one another and just being surrounded by people who we love.

I'm not really sure how everything is going to pan out and I'm not really setting my expectations too high. I know that God has His perfect plan and timing and I'm completely content in waiting.

Pray for us if you think about it. Thank you so much.

I hope that all of you lovely people have a fabulous day!

I'm back to feed my addiction.

After much determination, facebook and blogger finally began acting as though they should which brought me much joy and relief. All of you fellow bloggers and facebookers out there, you know what I mean ;)

Hello, my name is Amber and I'm and internet-aholic.

Sometimes, I feel a bit ashamed and convicted at the amount of time I spend on the internet and believe I should probably cut back a bit. Perhaps I will, in time.

I've noticed an array of bloggers jumping on the twitter bandwagon. I happened to have opened a twitter account a while back but I never use it. Mainly because I have a really old, ghetto phone (that I happen to love) and it's certainly not internet compatible. Basically, the only thing it can be used for is calling and texting. Oh wait, that is what it is supposed to be used for, right? Can you believe that I have had the same cell phone for a little over 2 years! I know, crazy right? Oh man, this digital age is somewhat ahead of me. I need to catch up. Maybe not.

Okay, enough about the sad truth regarding my addiction to the internet. At least I'm confessing.

I'll leave you with a few pictures. Two of which contain my lovely sister. We were asked by someone this week if we were twins. Do you think we look like twins? Must be the blonde hair and light eyes. Then again, we are sisters and we are only a mere 16 months apart.






























This weekend, Ash (my sister^) and I did some thrift shopping and found a really amazing vintage store called "Years a Go Go". There were some definite treasures in this shop and I will most definitely be revisiting in the near future. Anyway, I found this head wrap thing that looked like something from the 60's and fell in love with it and it only cost $2! Can't get much better than that.

Here is another sweet item I happened to acquire over the weekend.

Salmon ruffle blouse from Charlotte Russe- $16.99

Nothing screams spring/summer quite like this color. I love it.

I leave in 3 days for my trip! I can hardly believe it. When I bought my ticket, 2 months seemed so far away but it has nearly arrived and with great speed, might I add. It's amazing and scary how fast these months are flying.

I can't wait to see one of my very best friends, Ashley and all of my family. I know we're going to have a blast.

Well, I hope you all have a terrific Tuesday! Thanks for reading this ridiculously random post!

Much love!

Oh and Happy Cinco de Mayo!!! G'ahead and get your mexican groove on. You know you wanna. ;)

Frustrated...

With my internet life, that is.

Blogger will not allow me to view my profile or blog for that matter. Everytime I do, it's just a white screen with some random script in the top left hand corner. I'm entirely confused. I don't even know if it will allow me to post this?

Also, facebook has not allowed me to sign on for nearly two days now due to "site maintenence". What the heck?

Okay, maybe I am a little addicted to these two sites. Okay, okay maybe they're more or less like my lifelines!!!

Maybe this is God's sweet way of telling me to take a break?

In any case, it's very frustrating.

Happy Monday to you, friends.

Confused.

Friday, glorious Friday. I eagerly anticipate your return each week and when you finally come, I am truly estatic. Thank you for coming again as you always faithfully do. I don't know what I would do without you.

Where to begin? I'm somewhat emotional today as I believe AF is to make her debut at anytime now, I cut my finger quite badly yesterday (thank you cat) and it's really sore today and last night was a bit of a downer for me. I won't elaborate but I just can't seem to figure some people out. Granted, I'm sure most people feel the same way about me. I can't seem to understand how someone can be so vexatious for no apparent reason. I know that I have the tendancy to be overly sensitive and sometimes take things the wrong way but there is a distinct difference between just being plain "mean" and your words being taken out of context.

In any case, I didn't end up doing what I was supposed to do last night because of a minor fiasco and awkward confontation about something I don't even have anything to do with. I'm still quite confused to be honest with you.

Tears ensued and I felt hot faced and embarrassed to be around people, so I quietly made my exit as to not create any sort of scene that was already on the brink of being created. Supposedly things got hot after I left, so I'm really glad I left when I did. I don't do drama.

The sad thing is, I love this person dearly and they happen to be one of my friends. Maybe I'm over analyzing this whole situation too much but I just felt so degraded in their presence that I couldn't force myself to wear a smile and pretend to have fun when my feelings were deeply hurt and my finger was still bleeding.

Maybe I was just too emotional in the moment to gracefully withstand the attitude and gestures.

I just needed to vent.

Hope you all have a most lovely weekend!



P.S. As I mentioned before, my dear, sweet Mother has started a blog. She wishes to remain anonymous but her blog is a bit lonely with only comments from yours truly. So, waltz on over and give her some comment lovin' because she is a great writer and comments always makes us feel better, right? Click here! Thank you lovelies. :)