Wednesday, June 15, 2011

They were right.

Last night I cooked dinner. I cooked a meal that I grew up having and one that was a family favorite. As I was peeling potatoes, tears began to swell in my eyes as a sense of nostalgia crashed over me and made me miss home and my family more than you can imagine.

Growing up.

Two words I always wanted. Something I yearned for and looked forward to as a kid.

"The grass is always greener. If only I could drive. If only I could stay out past 11:00. If only I could work. If only I could move out on my own and test these wings and find "my place" in this gigantic world. If only mom and dad would understand me and let me do what I want"

So now I'm here. Grown up. On my own. I have a car, an apartment, a career, a fiance' etc. I'm happy and I know that the best is yet to come but there is a part of me that is heartbroken at the fact that the comfort and protection of home is so far behind me. It's a somewhat scary and exposing feeling.

They always told me, "don't wish these years away because soon they will be gone and you'll wish for them back".


I didn't believe them.

I believe them now.

4 comments:

Danya said...

I remember going through that while I was engaged and planning away my life...it was a sad moment when it hit me, but the other side of marriage is so much sweeter than you can imagine. You'll have a new family, a new covering and a new security. Enjoy the last months of singleness, cause it goes so quickly, but be excited about what's ahead - it's God's design and you're doing things according to His plan, how could it not be sweet? :) Love you girl!

Andrea said...

I remember a few days after we got home from our honeymoon, Jim and I had a little argument [probably over something really stupid]. I went to bed early and cried myself to sleep. I wanted my old home, my old bed, my dog, etc. Looking back I laugh but the feelings were REAL. I loved my husband SO MUCH but I never anticipated feeling sadness over growing up.

I can tell you that you come to to a place where your new family is your absolute security. This is my new normal and I love it. And the relationship you have with your parents gets even better. I still talk to my mom everyday. It's the best of both worlds :)

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I know exactly how you feel! Remember though, once you get married you'll be starting a family of your own.

Molly said...

Oh gosh. I can't count how many times I have thought this! Life is amazing and fun now, but sometimes I long to be snuggled up on my parents couch without a care in the world!

You are the sweetest, Amber!