Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Sneezy me, Red Door News, Blast from the Past aka I always write the most random blogs!

Well this week is certainly off to a rocky start. Not only did yesterday totally and completely suck in every aspect and way possible but today I feel like my whole entire head is going to blow off! I have been sneezing without cease and my brains feel like they will come out of my nose with each blow. My nose is red and severely sore from rubbing and blowing, my eyes are extremely watery causing my makeup to smear and I kind of look like a cross between chinese and rudolph. Not fun my friends, not fun. Every once in a great while the monster of allergies will sneak up on me and it is not a pretty sight. I would think that by now these problems would be decreasing due to the weather changes. Usually spring is the absolute WORST because of all the pollen, but right now it doesn't make much sense for me to be feeling this way.

The germies began attacking my immune system sometime around 10:00 last night keeping me awake throughout the night with a terrible headache and a runny nose that I am still having trouble keeping up with- yuck yuck yuck! My co-workers have made various comments directed toward my enormous amount of sneezing and the pile of tissues I have quickly gone through in my short hour and a half of being at work. Coincidently, upon answering every phone call so far I have the sudden urge to spasmodically and violently let out about 5 sneezes, how embarrassing!! My throat is clogged and I have that funny stopped up sound going on when I talk. Blahhhh. I need some benadryl or something, NOW! =( Perhaps this is the beginning of the first cold of the season? I want my bed, a box of tissues and something to knock me out.

I'm embarrassed to be in public as of now considering the way I look and feel.

Last night we met with the Fire Chief regarding The Red Door and our capacity issues. Fact of the matter- come the end of this year we just might be closing a wonderful comunity outreach center due to people who are picking on us because we don't allow alcohol and drugs there. Either we pay $30,000 for a sprinkler system in the building in case of a fire to enlarge our capacity or we close. Obviously we do NOT have that money. Good Lord, who the heck does right now?! My mom is totally depressed over this. She has put forth so much effort, hard work, love, and diligence into this and once again to have something just snatched out of our hands and completely out of our control rips her heart out all over again.

Two years ago we went through one of the most difficult times as a family-we were black mailed, lied to, sold out, and completely taken advantage of all for "the sake of ministry". Bullcrap. That is not ministry, that is not God and that is not right! My parents poured out their lives into a vision they believed in, supported and were passionate about. Politics came into play and we were done dirty. I'm aware that we all go through hard times and that in the end it is all apart of a bigger plan but never, ever is this type of thing right. It is never right to lie about your intentions, manipulate someone into doing something that you want just to grow your name and ministry and never is it right to control other people's lives through your "ministry". None of that is ministry. It is simply a business to make you more money, give you a bigger name and ruin many lives in the process. So good luck with that, Pastor. You will be held accountable.

God has done a tremendous work in my heart and I have forgiven the "ministry" that enforced so much heartache and almost ruined my family.

My parents stood against the corruption. They refused a position because they refused to lie and be apart of a "ministry" that was causing more harm than good. We left and we left truthfully and we did not keep our mouths shut when we were confronted about our reasoning. I was not about to lie and I think that exposure is extremely necessary especially when innocent lives and hearts are at stake. It broke our hearts and it was a dark and lonely road to travel. Most of the people we thought were with us, turned out to just stab us in the backs as well just to secure their good name and keep their position. It hurt, deeply. I was so proud of my parents for risking everything in order to do what was "right" and I will always honor that decision despite the turmoil and heartache that it caused. I have the utmost admiration for my parents and while they are not perfect, they have always stood their ground and they have our best interests at heart, even at the risk of losing what they have worked so hard for.

I can see my mom dwindling. I can see the spark in her eyes fading as she is worn out and as she feels like this might be the end of the road for Red Door. I'm placing it in the Lord's hands because He truly knows what is best. I just wish I could do something for her because I can't stand to see her disappointed and hurt again.

I just find it bizarre that there are SO many venues around here that are 4 times smaller than us and they always manage to fit 300+ people in their venues for shows and all the while fights break out, drugs and alcohol are permitted and yet, no one ever threatens to shut them down. We are actually doing some good for the community and yet we're under investigation because we've gone over our capacity a few times? I do not get it at all.

Pray for us if you think about it.

Sunday, September 28, 2008


My stubbornness weakens me. It’s a mere act and an unyielding behavior in which I think I win when in all actuality I lose to myself in the end. I can’t stay mad for very long or it eats at me continually.

I smile sweetly when I’m sad and stare blankly when I’m hurt. Pain has the opposite effect on me, it makes me stronger rather than weak. When annoyed, please don’t continually do that which you were doing just to "test" me.

I’ve held grudges and found that it only negatively influences everything I feel toward that person and it magnifies the simplest of things. It’s rather immature and it’s only a game of "revenge" in which you never win. Love always wins.

If you steal my pillow when I’m sleeping the consequences may be brutal ;).

I truly do love helping people, I am compassionate and my emotions often overrule me. My confidence is often an act, hiding the insecurities I bear secretly. I’m not perfect, never have been, never will be. I’m simply human and I’ve tried to be perfect, doesn’t work out so well because when you fail you’re much harder on yourself. I don’t judge you, that’s not my place. I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve, I often hide my emotions and mask what I’m truly feeling.

If I tell you something in confidence and you break it, that might be the last time. I don’t trust easily and if you break my trust, then it’s hard to regain. Don’t lie to me because it hurts me, it makes me feel unimportant or that I’m someone you have to prove something to. If I catch you lying, I won’t say anything until I can’t handle it anymore, I hate embarrassing people. I’m probably the most non-confrontational person you’ll ever meet, I can’t stand making someone feel bad even when it is necessary, I avoid it for as long as I can.

Sometimes I need space, aloneness. I only like being alone when I feel safe. I don’t enter relationships easily. I don’t know why. I guess I have this fear of being used or it being "superficial". I’d rather be single for the rest of my life than get married and not be in love.

Sometimes I just want you to listen to me. Advice is optional but appreciated at the same time. I over think and overanalyze pretty much everything, I annoy myself. When I look in the mirror I see flaws, what girl doesn’t? I’m told that my beauty is found within and yeah, I believe it, sometimes. It makes sense.

I’ve been a victim of compromise and I despise it. I’m comfortable with familiarity, I don’t like change too much but something is always changing, so I’ve forced myself to adapt. When I say I’ll do something, I will do it, no doubt. I create safe havens for myself, I don’t normally go beyond them.

I try to find humor in everything and I laugh at the most horrible and inappropriate times. I would say I’m an optimist with a pessimistic point of view. I always try to see the positive but I don’t live in a fantasy world where nothing bad ever happens. I guess you could say I'm a realist. I take life as it comes, I don’t really plan ahead much, I like to be sporadic.

Although most people think I’m the organized type, my closet may be color coordinated but my shoes are thrown all over the bottom of my closet. Your assumptions may be precise but I will purposely surprise you and make you think otherwise.

I cry by myself and laugh with my hand over my mouth. My emotions may get the best of me inside but I won’t let you see that. I’m impatient. When I want something, I don’t want to wait. I wish I were more calm and serene and then sometimes I wish I were crazy, fun, and really outgoing. I guess I’m a mix somewhere in between.

There’s probably something about you that I wish I had. I’m always comparing myself yet I’m satisfied with who I am. I’m weird, complicated and hard to read. I will challenge you. Don’t think you can understand me.

I’m really not high maintenance. I bargain shop, wear cheap jewelry and it takes me about 30 min to get ready.

I work but I have a life outside of it, I am not an over-achiever. I like to have fun, I like to relax and I like to take naps.

I’ve forgiven those who’ve caused deep wounds but I’ll always carry those scars. I won’t take you for granted, if you’ve marked my life you’ll always hold a special place in my heart and I thank you for the impression you’ve made.

Writing is an escape as well as music. I basically couldn’t live without them.

I love my family more than anyone. They’re loud, crazy and sometimes annoying but I’d die for them in a heartbeat if I needed to.

I’m content where I am but I always want to go further.

I like adventure but not alone. I miss being 15 without a care in the world and the highlight of my life was summer, beach days, swimming at the dock, laying on the roof under the stars, practically living at the Boren’s and the Prips’, weekend movies, sleepovers, moondance, shopping with no money, youth camp, making stupid home videos, and the list goes on and on and on. I love reminiscing. I’m very sentimental and I keep everything! If an M&M bag holds a memory of something, you’ve bet I’ve still got it, it’s pathetic. I have a hard time getting rid of things that meant a lot or that hold a special memory.

I’m me, wonderfully complex and perfectly quirky and I’m happy with who I am, oddly.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

To My Readers...

Dear Fellow Bloggers, Readers and Lurkers (I know you're out there),

I wanted to compose a letter and express my heartfelt appreciation to you for reading my blog, leaving all of your lovely, sweet and encouraging comments and for spicing up everyday for me by allowing me to glimpse into your thoughts and lives. You truly make those slow days at work much more interesting and time consuming for me. I believe that I have developed a slight addiction that is ever increasing! Do they have a BA (Bloggers Anonymous) group? What is it about blogging that sucks you in? Perhaps the peek into other's worlds is quite invigorating and it's rather fun to be nosey ;). I'm certain that most of my readers have never actually met me in real life and vice versa. However, I feel I share some sort of bond with you because I let you in on all of my heartfelt desires, struggles, highs and lows in life and I trust that you care to take into consideration my feelings. I have shared some very personal things with you and it has been an ideal way to vent and clear my head. I'll have you know, I am a generally introverted person when it comes to my heart, feelings and dreams. I am a talker for certain but I have always seemed to guard my true heart and soul for fear of what others might think or say. I admit, I am a sensitive individual and I take things on a personal level most of the time but I'll have you know, I am getting so much better with this! I am positive that my job has benefited me in various ways with that being one of them.

The point of this letter is to simply thank you all for being so kind and for faithfully reading- you give me reason to keep writing! I just wanted to give a shout out to you and let you know that I appreciate your insight, input, opinions, and sweet comments! Also to encourage you to keep writing, not only because it gives me something interesting and fun to do during the day but also because you're great at it and your lives are so enriching and interesting to read about! Mitzy, Leah, Jessica, Elizabeth, Sarah, Andrea, Amber (A girl who happens to share the exact same name and uncommon middle name with me!), Leah-Maria, Candi aka Ophelia, Danya, Allison, and Natalie. You're all amazingly talented and gifted individuals who have so much to offer through your writing, dreams, desires and hearts. I am often inspired, amused and heartbroken as I read your posts and either read about your accomplishments, hilarious stories, talents, advice, practical ideas, dreams, desires, battles, faith and opinions or witness your transparency through the heartache and tragedy you have undergone. I often find myself either laughing, smiling, deep in thought or in tears as I read your blogs and get to see your hearts and thoughts. I consider it an honor.

New readers, welcome to my blog! I hope that you will find truth, inspiration and humor as you read about my journey through this life and I let you have a glimpse into my thoughts! My mind tends to be crazy busy as thoughts race through it constantly and I am doing my best to keep track of them by blogging. It really is a great outlet. So, I hope you enjoy what you read and please make me aware as I will most definitely read yours!

So with that said, keep writing, sharing and being real. You never know the impact you may have on someone's life, even through a silly blog. I appreciate your time and I appreciate your thoughts. God bless you all!

Much Love,
Amber Denae

P.S. To all you lurkers out there, come into the light! ;)

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Rambling and a recipe! =)

Ahhh, I'm simply in love with this spectacular weather! It is 68 degrees right now, the sun is shining brightly and you can just feel autumn creeping in with the breeze. I just want to go and lay on a huge blanket in a park and read a book but I have responsibilities so I suppose I can just imagine that I am doing so. I'm certainly ready to pull out the scarves and hoodies and drive around with my windows down and smell the clean fall air.

I am in a great mood again today. Meagan and I had a long and interesting conversation at around 7:00 this morning that completely made me miss hanging out with her. I admit, I have not been such a pleasant person lately and I have failed miserably in the aspect of being a "good" friend. However, this morning I believe I smoothed things over for the both of us. Miscommunication has a way of deterring me and confrontation is my biggest weakness especially when I know that I am the one being the idiot. Oh the joys of learning. I just haven't been myself lately and I am not sure if that is due to the fact of me feeling aimless and empty or if it's just because of little issues that have been weighing me down. Whatever the case I am determined to make things right by being who I really am and not the gloomy debbie downer I have morphed into the last couple of weeks. Self-pity really is a nasty disease-like attribute that I do not wish to obtain, therefore I am resisting right here and now.

I am blessed and though life has been stressful and annoying one thing remains true, I have an enormous amount of important people in my life and withholding my time and love from them is pointless and selfish. I am a lively, joyous, fun-loving, carefree, independant, adventurous, vigorous, and motivated individual. I just had a set back in which I think everyone experiences numerous times along this course of life. I certainly realized quickly that I was extremely unhappy in my attempt to become something I am not. I am admitting to my weakness here because it seems easier than verbally doing so for some reason. I suppose it feels safer within the confines of this box although it is pouring incessantly from my heart.

"Today is a new day, fresh with no mistakes in it...yet." -Does anyone know what that quote is from? ;)

Tonight shall entail dinner with a very dear and wonderful best friend whom I have been blessed with since I was 12. I am looking forward to spending time together in the company of a guy from Wales. Friday will be here in two days! I live for the weekends and I can imagine that this one will be great considering this weather. I want to have a bonfire or go on a hay ride! I'm obsessing just a bit.

Oooooh last night I learned how to make twice baked potatoes and they were "mouth watering" good! I'm telling ya, wow! My mom is a phenominal cook, she could so have her own cooking show! Anyway, if you're interested I will share my wonderful knowledge of this recipe and perhaps you can enjoy them in all their yumminess should you decide to try them!

*Note: My mom came up with this herself.

6-8 potatoes
1 cup Sour cream
1/2 block Cream cheese
1/2 stick Butter
1 1/2 cups Grated Cheddar cheese

Shell- Heat potatoes in microwave until completely soft on the inside and then cut them in half. Dish out the soft part of the potatoes leaving enough inside to make a shell.

Filling- In bowl mix the potatoes, sour cream, cream cheese, butter, cheddar cheese, salt and pepper until soft and all mixed together. (You can add ingredients accordingly as you taste to get it perfect ie. I put a little extra sour cream and cheese).

Then fill the shells with this filling and heap them high as you should have plenty to do so! Sprinkle with cheddar cheese on top and bake in oven at 375 degrees for about 15 min. or until cheese melts and they look done and voila!

Your life will be changed, I assure you. =)

Okay, enough of my ramblings for now. You need to get back to work as well!! ;) Have a beautiful day lovelies!

Much Love,

Tuesday, September 23, 2008


What an absolutely beautiful day!

I woke up promptly at 6:00 am this morning and it was almost like one of those Disney movie scenes where the Princess wakes up with the sun beaming through the windows, birds chirping and she springs up and bursts into song and dance!

Okay, maybe not quite like that but you get my drift. I just woke up in an unbelievably great mood for some reason. I really have no idea why. I didn't win the lottery, I really don't have anything at all to look forward to, there are no "prospects" in my life (haha, I know what you're thinking!), and to be perfectly honest with you the last couple of weeks have sucked royally! So, I don't know what this giddy, happy, excited and anxious feeling is attributed to. It makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. I won't lie though, I am digging it!

I have been a pretty gloomy person lately due to some family circumstances, the route that my life is taking, the fact that I feel so far away from God when I used to be so in tune with His voice and all the doubt and confusion that has been residing within me. I have slept more in the past couple of weeks than a bear in hibernation, I'm sure of it! I've had no motivation and I've been a complete recluse. Although it has been somewhat refreshing to be alone and do what I please in my own timing, it can be extremely lonely. I don't have a "group" of friends really. I have a select few and I rarely see them due to our schedules- one is in a serious relationship, one is married and pregnant and well you get the picture. I'm not one to impose at all.

I'm not meaning to sound like a "damsel in distress" because today I feel phenominal! I'm just kind of laying out a picture of what my life has been like recently and why it makes absolutely no sense for me to be feeling this way. Whatever the case, I feel great, fresh and completely content today. I hope this feeling remains and I hope that I feel this way for a reason. Maybe God is restoring my joy and life and maybe this is just a reminder of how much better life is when I am happy! The sun shines brighter, the sky seems bluer and I just feel like an altogether better person!

Craziest thing! My prego friend (Katie) sent me a text that read: "How do you feel today?"
I responded: "Pretty dang good! You?"
She sent me a text that said: "Lol don't think I'm crazy but I woke up with such a good feeling like something amazing is going to happen. I don't know what it is but I've never had such a good feeling. So I thought maybe you felt it too haha, because it feels like it's from God."

Umm, yeah I was a little freaked out, not gonna lie. You have to understand, we are like two of the most UNsupersticious people ever! That is one reason why I am not attending a church right now. I am so tired of hype, emotionlism, supersticion and people messing with your mind and emotions. I love to feel God but I am very convinced that people overplay it and that is what I like to call blashphemy. I am not judging or criticizing anyone. I am just being honest. I've seen a lot of that stuff and it makes my stomach turn. No fake-ness for me, thank you!

So, maybe it is God that we both woke up feeling this way! It could very well be. It could also be the fact that today is one of the most beautiful days ever or of course a combo of both! =)

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

-Psalm 51:10-12

Have a beautiful, wonderful and amazing day!!
Much love,
Amber =)

Monday, September 22, 2008

Happy fall, busy bee, and a tragic tale!

Happy first day of fall! :)

Oh the joys of this wonderful, glorious season. As most of you already know, I live in Florida. That basically means that I don't really get the autumn sights, smells and weather but I'll take what I can. I can just imagine I still live in West Virginia again as I did when I was 7 and the mountains would change from lush green to gold, bronze and burnt red. If only.

Today is not so hot, thankfully. I'm actually wearing a scarf :) It's basically more for looks than warmth in case you were wondering. Someone came in the office earlier and stated "Wow, you look ready for fall!". Indeed I am.

Wow, this has been a busy morning! Busy is an understatement. I've hardly had time to breathe until now! Monday mornings are always so welcoming with the endless amount of messages, pending notes, unanswered e-mails, files left over from friday and new payments. Ughhh, I'm always overwhelmed come Monday morning. The upside (there is in fact an upside)- the morning goes by rather quickly. I am now ready for lunch which is quickly approaching!

So, I have a story for you- my bloggy buddies. It's quite a tragic tale and true, very true. Though I was not present to witness the events I am about to unfold for you, my mother was and she immediately notified me after the occurance.

Today a fire chief was scheduled to meet with mom regarding "The Red Door". If you do not know what the Red Door is, it is a non-profit youth center/venue that my mom started last January for Pensacola's youth culture and music scene. Since then we have seen hundreds of bands and thousands of kids come through our doors. It's pretty neat.

Well, apparently we have been going over our capacity recently and there have been complaints from nasty neighbors. Therefore a fire chief was sent out to survey our building and determine our capacity. They determined the capacity to be 300!! NOT COOL! We have fit well over 700 in there before and were forced to do so for various reasons. This could very well be detrimental to us because we will lose some of our larger shows, which would mean losing money, which means not being able to pay bills which would ultimately lead to shutting down. Yeah, pray for my mom. Her name is Darla and she needs it.

As if she wasnt already stressed enough when the fire chief came over this morning to discuss all the stipulations and laws- our cat came storming through the door with a baby bird in his mouth as the fire chief came in! Embarrassed and a little frazzled she of course attempted to retrieve Charlie's trophy of which he was quite proud! He of course was impossible to catch (we think he might be in bred and he has some kind of wild cat in him- not even kidding! He is not like a normal housecat). She retired and got back with the fire chief as the cat ran under my sister's bed. By this time my dog is in on it and Molly (dog) takes the bird from Charlie. Somehow Charlie attempts to get it back and well you can imagine the condition of this poor baby bird.

Finally mom assures the fire chief, "I know this is important but my dog and cat have a baby bird under my daughter's bed that is in dire need of my help, I simply can not ignore this". She finally saves the baby bird whose little wing and leg is severely damaged. It tries to fly away and lands in our bushes where mom picks it up and quickly calls our neighbor. Apparently our neighbor across the street volunteers at a refuge place for wild animals, so she bundles this baby bird up and happily takes it along with her. The birds fate has yet to be determined. What a scene!

That is all I have to share. Pray for my mom, the red door and that little bird.

Much Love,

Friday, September 19, 2008


I saw this girl on Hannity and Colmes the other night and her story was incredibly inspiring. God has spared this young woman's life and she truly is a miracle. I found this video and I couldn't resist posting it. For those of you who are Pro-life or Pro-Choice, simply watch and listen. I found myself in tears as I did.

Now, to those of you who are Pro-Choice or Pro-Life I'd like to get your opinion on this, if you will. I do not wish for my blog to become grounds for debate or anything of the sort. I am simply interested in hearing why you believe and support what you do. I can't imagine anyone hearing this story and seeing this life miraculously spared from such a heinous act and it not triggering something inside of them. However, I know everyone possesses their own beliefs and has their own opinions. I'm not one to shove mine down anyone's throat by any means.

I wish you all a very happy Friday and a fabulous weekend!

Love, Amber

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Oh yeah...

I went shopping last night at the outlets in Foley and bought a whole bunch of goodies! AE was having a fantastic sale and I got some really cute v-necks and cardigans (my favorite!).

BTW ladies- all AE tops are buy one get one 1/2 off! I was all over that. I got 4 tops for $40.00! Needless to say, I was quite the happy camper.

I also purchased an adorable cream pea coat at Rue21 for a grand price of $29.99! Not so bad. I simply fell in love with it and could not resist buying it. This is the exact coat....

Lovely, isn't it? Once I embellish with a scarf, hat and fun accessories I think it will be simply adorable! I'm getting way too excited about such a lousy florida winter. I think I'll head up north for some real cold weather!

I found this to be insightful

My 3 hour ethics class was pretty boring although I did in fact benefit from it. They made some very profound and interesting points about morals, values, integrity and ethics in the work force. I think the Insurance Business came in second on the "Most Misinterpreted Businesses in America" chart. I can attest to that truth!

It was overall great material although we really didn't do anything but skim through a bunch of screens on a projector. My brain could not process all the information at the speed they were going. On the bright side, we got out a little early and I was able to grab a bite to eat at Panera, my favorite! I sure wasn't one to complain.

There was a point in time in the class where they began talking about our government and paralleling all the issues and mess with Wall Street and AIG today and how we must always seek to do the greatest good both for the business and the consumer (ethics). There is in fact a balance.

One quote that they read aloud was very thought provoking to me and so scarily true. I searched for it on the internet and was able to find it in it's entirety and so I'm going to post it...

About the time our original thirteen states adopted their new constitution in 1787, Alexander Tyler, a Scottish history professor at the University of Edinburgh , had this to say about the fall of the Athenian Republic some 2,000 years earlier:

'A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government.'

'A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury.'

'From that moment on, the majority always vote for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship.'

'The average age of the world's greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years'

'During those 200 years, those nations always progressed through the following sequence:

From bondage to spiritual faith
From spiritual faith to great courage
From great courage to liberty
From liberty to abundance
From abundance to selfishness
From selfishness to complacency
From complacency to apathy
From apathy to dependency
From dependency back to bondage."

-Alexander Tyler

It's a viscious cycle, my friends. I'm not quite sure where exactly we are today in the US- perhaps apathy or dependancy? (ie. dependancy on the government). I'm certainly not one to gauge our stance as a Nation and economy although I can assure you we're in the latter as opposed to all the good that the first attributes ensued. Not to mention our nation is now officially 232 years old.

I guess we'll see how the next few years pan out.

We need God again.

Much Love,

Tuesday, September 16, 2008


I feel so out of touch with the blogosphere. It's crazy how you can go a few days without posting and when you come back, the fact that everyone else has updated and you have not makes you feel way behind! Well, at least it does me.

I did in fact become infected by that flu bug. I was not able to come into work on Monday due to being sick. I stayed on the couch practically all day which wasn't so bad! :) Mom's soup was wonderful and a day on the couch is never awful!

The weather today is lovely! It's breezy and just beautiful. This is preparation for fall and I am thoroughly enjoying the sneak peek! I can not express to you how ready I am for this glorious season! Florida's fall and winter is not really comparable to that of the north, however I'll take it over sweltering heat and humidity any day of the week!

Today I have CE classes in order to retain my 4-40 license.

4 hours of "Ethics for the Insurer"= Me being completely bored out of my mind

I really have no idea what to write about right now. I guess I have not really encountered anything too exciting in the last few days, sorry =/

I just wanted to let you all know that I am still alive!! :)

Now go and read Psalm 139.

Love, Me ;)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

September 11, 2001.

Like so many others I vividly remember every intricate detail about that day, awaking to my mom in tears as she somberly broke the news and watching in utter terror the attacks that came upon our nation. It felt as though the world as I knew it was coming to an end and in those moments my eyes were glued to what I was beholding. It seemed so surreal.

Today marks 7 years since the tragic day we were attacked on our soil and so many lost their lives due to the fatal brutality of terrorism. So many spouses, children, loved ones, friends and co-workers were affected by these heinous acts and may we never ever forget the lives that were lost that day. May we never forget those who sacrificed their lives heroically to save another and may we never forget those who grasped the gravity of the moment and understood the threat as they courageously took matters into their own hands on Flight 93 when they realized their fate. May we never ever forget.

Today I mourn with those who mourn. As an American Citizen affected by these events I can't help but be somber and respectful as I look back and commemorate those who made a difference in their actions and lovingly and notably reached out to those in need. The self sacrifice expressed through their actions is a picture of true love and of true brotherhood- "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13. I am humbled by those sacrifices. Our country was forever changed that day and there can be no denying that despite these grave occurances there was a unity in our Nation that truly did something inexplainable.

Here we are 7 years later and the war on terror is still going on as we speak. Our troops- men and women of honor are fighting against anything like this ever happening again. How can we not pay them our respect and admiration? How can we not pray for them and show them recognition?

Sometimes it's hard for me to believe all of the things I have witnessed throughout my life that will undoubtedly go down in history. The things that shook our nation, brought us closer and turned us toward God as well as all the things that have divided our nation. I imagine that we will behold so much more- it's undeniable.

I am a patriot and I am beyond proud of my country and our beautiful history. I do not think that we realize how unbelievably blessed we truly are. We gripe and complain about so many little things that really have no significance compared to the trials and losses of others. Today, I remember the heroes and I remember all of the innocent blood shed and I can't help but sit here, tears streaming down my face in disbelief and in utter gratefulness that I am an American and that God has blessed me in ways unimaginable.

Many things have changed since that September morning in 2001 but one thing remains constant, the bond that every American now shares; unspoken but strong, we came together as a nation that day regardless of religion, race or creed and today we stand united on this 7th anniversary to remember the heroes of 9/11.

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted"- Matthew 5:4

So, say a prayer for those mourning today. Say a prayer for our troops. Say a prayer for our Nation and it's leaders. Say a prayer for the future of our Nation.

Never forget and be grateful because we truly are blessed beyond belief.

Much Love,

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


My house has been infested with a bug- a flu bug. Yuck.

I have yet to contract this illness but my mom and little sister have most definitely been infected. I'm keeping my distance. I do not need to get sick nor do I want to!

My Dad's birthday is this weekend and I have no idea what to get him, not a clue. Any suggestions?

I can't believe that tomorrow is the 7 year anniversary of the September 11, 2001 events- that is absolutely insane! I was 14 then and yet it seems like it was only yesterday. I remember every intricate detail of that entire day, even down to the clothing I was wearing. I'll never forget that day.

Obama has stepped in it again with his "lipstick on a pig" comment. I suppose that "desperate times call for desperate measures", right Mr. Obama? The convention bounce is over and the polls are radically assuming that He is in fact "goin' down". Time is the essence of what is to come. I once heard a quote that goes something like this..."We must watch our thoughts because they will become our words and we must watch our words because they will become our actions."- profound.

I suppose I should wear green more often. Yesterday I wore green and I can't tell you how many people raved about my eyes. I guess it accentuates the green in my eyes. I don't know but it made me feel good nonetheless. =)

I am seriously contemplating going back to school. I just don't know. I like my job as of now and I do wish to learn more and do more but the fact remains (shhhhh)- I'm not really passionate about it. I know, I know what you're probably thinking- "You're going to get bored with any job or career that you pursue- it's life Amber." Yeah, I know. I just am not sure that I see myself doing insurance for the rest of my life. Then again, I like my cushion and I am comfortable. I'm not in need and the pay is good. I just would love to pursue something that I love and am passionate about such as music, politics, law, teaching or something along those lines. I may look into some online courses to get a headstart. I dont know- it seems to be just a dream. I often dream but never do much about it because it seems unattainable- big weakness! I have been taught to pursue my dreams because I am capable but yet it's scary and I am a big fan of stability. I guess we'll see how it all plays out.

I know all you northerners can not attest to this, but I am so ready for fall weather! Trust me, if you lived in Florida then you would be as well! Our very hot and humid summers consume most of the year and a cool breeze lacking that awful humidity is oh so refreshing! Not to mention, the Interstate Fair is around the corner and let's just face it- Fairs come in the fall and it should be a little chilly! I am so ready!

I need to go to the gym, badly. I'm slacking and I can feel it. I just love going home, putting on my comfy clothes and reading or watching the news. I am such an old lady! I really don't have much of a social life anymore either which is absolutely crazy because I used to be known as "Ms. Social". I don't know what has happened to me!? Help!!

Have I mentioned that I am a huge fan of Sarah Palin? ;) She might very well be added to my list of Heroes which isn't too lengthy might i add.

Okay, enough of the thoughts going on in my mind. I'll spare you the time because I know that you have something much more important that needs tending to. =)

Much Love,

Sunday, September 7, 2008

A closer look...

I was reading my Bible and came across this passage of scripture- seemed to fit the moment for some reason. I have no idea why really. I guess I'm really trying to be more careful with my words and I'm working on being more thankful and appreciative as opposed to unthankful and judgemental. I'm praying that God really does transplant my heart with His and exchange my love for His love. He really is quite amazing- whether you believe in Him or not. Showing true love and walking in purity and humility is my goal- I am no where near perfect however I strive no less. Read on if you please...

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving."-Ephesians 4:29-5:4

My prayer each day is that God would allow me to observe my inner most parts and be able to see that which needs tending to. Whether it be my attitude, spirit or mind. I am fully aware that it is so easy to allow myself to slip into anger, bitterness, sulking and corrupted thoughts. I must rely on Him and renew and purify myself daily in order to walk in accordance with His word. I need this- I want this. I do not desire to become complacent and compromising- I wish to be grounded and strong with my convictions. I am human but I serve a powerful God who has the ability to change even the worst of the worst. May I be more open to hearing Him, may my heart remain pure in my pursuit of Him.

Much love,