Thursday, July 23, 2009

God Speaks?

"In the silence, you are speaking."

In my vast attempt to hear God's voice and receive God's direction in my life, I have become increasingly frustrated when I hear or feel nothing. It can be discouraging at times especially when "Follow God's voice and direction in your life" is a quote that I have heard an innumerable amount of times in my life. What exactly does that mean?

From the time I was a little girl, I remember praying and pleading with God to hear His voice like everyone else had claimed that they had and would easily get discouraged when a thundering sound from the sky would not startle to me and tell me what He wanted me to do. I didn't get it.

I used to think maybe something was wrong with me or maybe God didn't want to speak to me like he did to others.

I even remember times when I would open my Bible desperate for God to make a certain scripture glow or stand out to me in an effort to "speak" to me and still, nothing. Perhaps it was my overanyalyzation of the entire idea that kept me from hearing or knowing? Nonetheless, it bothered me. I bothered me for years. I would cry and pray and beg God to show me something or speak to me and He wouldn't, or so I thought. My crisis of belief began when I was about 15. I really started questioning why I believed what I did and wanted hard evidence, as if my faith wasn't enough.

It wasn't until quite recently that I came to a very liberating realization that God speaks differently to different people. Who woulda guessed?

In my silence, He speaks to me. I don't necessarily feel that I need to lift my head upward and scream, shout, rant and rave for God to "speak" to me, nor do I feel that there is something wrong with me because I don't hear God's voice maybe as much as others claim to. I am content in knowing that a tug on my heartstrings or even an encouraging note or word from a friend or, even, a stranger could be God's way of either encouraging me or putting me in my place. I don't believe that I have to be in a trance or do what may look like to others, a tribal dance to feel God's presence. I believe God's presence surrounds me in the most surprising ways. For instance, when I am near an ocean or when I pray and worship Him on my own in whatever I may be doing.

I'm by no means discrediting those who may feel and hear differently, these are simply my thoughts on this oh so interesting topic.

God indefinitely speaks.

What are some ways God speaks to you?


yours truly... said...

You write beautifully sweet girl and your words speak to me in ways words can't describe. What a blessing your words have been to me. That time of solitude when you can just sit and reflect is the best way to hear His voice. Keep doing what your ya sweet girl!!

Shanny said...

So inspiring!
This was written so nicely and I can feel the emotions in each word. God really is great isn't he? Right now he is speaking to me through you =)

Elizabeth Banta said...

"God indefinitely speaks." You know if more people would take hold of that, they would be so free!! He does, and like you said in different ways to everyone. I used to obsess about that too. Like you, I was convinced there was something wrong with me, wasn't spiritual enough or just not called enough. So not de case! ;)
God speaks to me similar to the way he does you I think, when things are quiet or when I'm in worship before Him. It's not this big loud male voice from the skies, it's a soft quietly spoken one.. so amazing.

I love this post.. I agree, you word things so beautifully! :)