spontaneity.

If you know me, you know I'm a planner. I hardly ever do things on a whim.

I decided at 4:00 yesterday afternoon that I was going to drive to New Orleans to surprise my love! They were playing a show there and yes, it is a 3 hour drive from here but I figured, what the heck? Why not? You only live once, right? So, I left work at 4:00 and drove straight there and made it right on time!

I had such an adrenaline rush! It was so exciting to think about seeing him and him being totally and completely surprised and that, he was. Such a great moment!

Yeah, I got home at 2:00 am and had to be at work at 8:00 but it was worth every hour of driving and lost sleep. I would totally do it all over again. Oh, the things you'll do for love :)

Together again :)

My love doing his job. He's amazing at it and I'm SO proud. Im his biggest fan :)

I'm currently housesitting for Ben's family as his parents are out of town. They have a German Shepherd named Breitling and I adore him. He's kept in their fence and very much likes company. I've made sure to feed and water him consistently and I also make sure I go straight to see him every morning and right when I get home from work. He's precious and so loveable and Ben refers to him as his "son". They have a very close bond. Well, I got home late last night and immediately checked on him, changed his water and loved on him. He was all good. I went to bed and when I awoke to go and check on him, he was GONE. My heart literally felt as though it fell out of my chest and I went into sheer panic mode. I called my boss and notified him that I would likely be late for work. I drove around frantically screaming his name, crying, praying and hoping he hadn't gone to the main hwy that they live off of. I simply couldn't live with myself if something had happened to him while he was in my care. Well, I found him- roaming about the neighborhood and he jumped right in my car as if nothing ever happened. It's a good thing he's so cute!


Make that two dog rescues in one week! More on that later.

Loved yesterday! Loved surprising Ben and being in his arms again. Do not love today so much. It's been a whirlwind since the moment I woke up. LITERALLY. Streesed, I am. Looking forward to some much needed rest and relaxation tonight.


*My sincere apologies for my lack of comments lately. Please know that I am not the least bit disinterested. Life has been a wee bit crazy.

what a week. what a lesson.

Glorious. Crazy. Chaotic. Stressful. Fun. Hot. Expensive. Crazy. Amazing. Sad. Disheartening. Lonely. Peaceful. Relaxing.

These words pretty much sum up my week/weekend.

From having my family here, accommodating everyone, taking people where they needed to be taken, Hannah's graduation, being with loved ones, my car breaking down and costing me an INSANE amount of money to fix it, going to the beach and my little cousins getting caught in a rip tide at the beach thus forcing a lifeguard rescue to saying goodbye to my dear family, making a very difficult and heartbreaking decision yesterday that most do not or will not understand and feeling so saddened and lonely. Yes, you could say it has been a crazy week/weekend.

What a whirlwind of emotions I have gone through in a matter of only a few days. So goes life.

I have SO many pictures that I will share at a later time but right now, I just don't have the time.

My heart feels a little lighter today. It was most heavy yesterday. I had to make a very tough choice on Sunday. One that broke my heart, yet was most likely the prevention of shattering it. I'm simply too fragile. People don't understand. My heart would not have been able to handle it. And as much as I would've loved to have been there, I knew it would only pain me more and cut me deeper. So, after many tears were shed and discussions were had with the most important people in my life. People who know me and love me influenced me to make the decision that I did. I'm much too sensitive. Selfish? I would like to think not, but possibly? I was definitely thinking of how much my heart would hurt and what others might think, say and/or do and yes, this influenced my decision. You may call it selfish. I like to think it was being cautious. Nonetheless, I did what I had to do. What my gut was telling me to do.

I'm at peace with the decision I made. Really and truly.

I was going through one of my beloved old journals last night and came across a beautiful sermon/lesson I had heard years ago. I was about 16. It was one that I NEVER forgot as it spoke volumes to me. It was entitled "Turning Lonliness into Aloneness" and Jeanne Mayo was the one who had written it.

One paragraph that stood out to me was...

"Loneliness is that aching, depressing emotion of isolation, but aloneness is a positive experience. Loneliness is depressing, demotivational, self-centered, spiritually debilitating, and takes no emotional energy to create. Aloneness is peaceful, motivational, other-centered, spiritually positive, and takes a choice of my will to create. The two most important words in step three are, "I choose." Far too many of us are content with shallow levels of intimacy with the Lord because we allow loneliness to cripple us rather than choosing to press through the depression and neutrality. It takes work to meditate on the Scriptures when you have no emotional energy. It takes work to control negative self-talk when feeling sorry for yourself is so easy. Those choices genuinely convert loneliness into aloneness allowing it to become a platform for deepened, authentic intimacy with the Lord."

She also quotes the Velveteen Rabbit (which is one of my favorite children's books ever).

"Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and are very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all because once you are real, you can’t ever be ugly, except to people who don’t really understand."

Love it. Love everything about it. In a world of facades, I so desire to be real. And I know that this comes through true aloneness and intimacy with my Savior.

A lesson I'll likely never stop learning.

Hope you all had a lovely weekend.

♥

Congratulations, Hannah!

Sorry for the lack of posts this week.

It has been quite busy. Love having the fam here. There have been a few crazy moments but what family doesn't have those?

Tonight, my baby sister, Hannah is graduating High School. I can hardly believe it.

Congratulations, Hannah! We're all so proud of you! You're beautiful and SO loved.

Working until 5:00 then heading off to the ceremony and celebrations!

:)

Happy Friday.

hey hey.

In a few hours I'll be seeing these people (also known as my family).

Yeah, I'm excited.

I said goodbye to Ben yesterday and my heart sank. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing. How people do long distance relationships is beyond me. I don't think I'm that strong. I would hope that I was but goodness, it sucks. I miss him so much already.

I'm so thankful that my parents, sisters and some friends are coming into town today! It will help me get my mind off of things and it will be so good to be with all of them again.

Thankfully, I have tomorrow and Thursday off work to spend with them. So great.

Back to work and being antsy to get out of here and see everyone.

Day, please go by rather quickly. Thank you.

I miss you, baby. So much.

weekend recap.

I took pictures. (surprise. surprise)

I love this camera.

Saturday night we went to the beach for a dinner I had for work. Afterwards, we attempted to go see "The Molly Ringwalds" with my co workers only to be turned away because Ben was wearing a plain white t-shirt and that signifies a "potential gang threat". Yes, Ben clearly looks as though he belongs to a gang. Am I right? So stupid.

Screw them.

So, we did the next best thing- got ice cream and went home.

And I made him take pictures with me. (His favorite thing- ha, yeah right)

Sleepyhead.


Oh and I don't have an iphone but he does and if you have one then you should definitely download the "Hipstamatic Camera" app because it makes pictures like this.


Rainy Sunday. We got up early and went to breakfast together. :)

Yes, I have a tree in my room.

Ben leaves today for a whole month.

I will not cry. I will not cry. I will not cry.

Who am I kidding? I've already cried.

He's meeting me for lunch and then we will say our goodbye's.
I got him treats. :)

On a lighter note, my family will be here tomorrow and I have Wednesday and Thursday off of work to spend with them!

Hello Monday. Not so nice to see you.

oh no.

this guy leaves me tomorrow for a whole month

this girl is sad.

=(

friday randoms.

Sorry about the quality and sound problems with my first vlog. I guess that just validates the fact that my first vlog will most likely be only ;) Plus, I felt really silly doing that.

Thanks for all of your sweet comments.

Today is Friday. :hallelujah praise chorus ensues:

Meaning, I have 3 days left with my sweet Ben before he leaves me to go on tour for a entire month. :ouch: I'm so proud of him and I know that this opportunity is beyond amazing for him. Speaking of, their tour dates are posted here. Go see them if they're near you. Admission is free :) I'm trying to figure out which show I'll be attending because I'll definitely be attending at least one!

Tonight Alison Krauss will be in Gulf Shores, AL. Gulf Shores is about 45 mins away from where I live. If you know me at all, you know that I love her. LOVE her. I grew up listening to bluegrass music and her voice is impeccable, flawless and just so beautiful. Ah, I want to go so badly and I'm hoping it works out. I think it will. She will be performing at a huge music festival going on out there all weekend but I'm going to try to get tickets for just one night. I'm going to call a little later and find out how much they are, so keep your fingers crossed for me! How can I pass the opportunity up though? Seriously. I'm going. Hopefully. Definitely. :)

Tomorrow, I have a dinner for work out at the beach and Ben is going to be my date. Should be a good time.

And last but not least, I can't leave you without any pictures to look at. I was feeling a bit artsy and last night and snapped a few.

awesome green chair (again) that I got for $3.50 and sweet rocking chair that my love surprised me with.

It's friday, I'm smiling. I can't wait to spend all weekend with the love of my life.

I'm looking forward to seeing these lovely ladies (my sisters) in just a few short days!

Hannah banana (baby sis) who is graduating high school next Friday!

And Ashy! We're only 16 months apart and ever so close.

Aren't they beautiful?

I can't convey how much I've missed them. So proud of them both and I can't wait to spend time with them and my amazing parents.

I hope your day is filled with sunshine.

love. love. love.

And I would like to thank...

...The one and only wonderful Sarah over at Something Good Can Work for nominating yours truly for this shiny award. What a treat. Check out Sarah's blog! She has a real knack for style and her wit and sense of humor is just wonderful. Love her.

So now, I'm supposed to write 5 things about myself.

Here goes nothing...

1. I've been blogging for two years now and I had no idea how addicting it would become. I have met some really amazing people through this thing and have had so much fun in the process. Thank you to all of my faithful readers. You bless me and inevitably make my heart smile.

2. I really want to start my own etsy site. I'm debating on what I want to sell. Perhaps vintage pieces? Maybe some handmade jewelry? I'm finding myself wanting to be more crafty and I have all these ideas bouncing around in my head. I need to bring them to life.

3. I couldn't live without music. Period. I've been listening to only vinyls lately on my totally amazing record player that my love bought and refinished for me. I've neglected my itunes for some time now but I feel no shame in doing so. There is just something I love about the static of a record player.

4. Sometimes I feel as though I was born in the wrong era. I would've loved to live in the 40's-50's.

5. I wish I could swing dance. I love to dance but Ben isn't too keen on it, unfortunately. We gotta work on that. ;)

I now have the privilege of nominating these lovely ladies...

Shayla over at Sunshine and Sprinkles. She is a lovely coastguard bride to be and has the sweetest personality. She also has a beautiful heart and it shows in her writing.

Annie over at Chapters of Our Life. She's so fun! Love her style. Also a bride to be and just beautiful!

Molly over at Stilettos and Diapers. She's someone I happen to know in real life too! Love her blog. She balances motherhood and style SO WELL. She's hilarious, gorgeous and she always has something great to say.

Sierra over at Ocean Dreams. What a lovely and genuine soul. She always inspires, challenges and makes me want to be a better person.

Shanny over at I did, I do, I will. Her journey to motherhood has been heartbreaking at times, encouraging and so beautiful. She is a strong woman whom I greatly admire and I am so excited for her as she is expecting twinsies!

You're all lovely.

Waltz on over and check these ladies out. They won't disappoint!

Thanks again, Sarah!

another chair?

Why, yes.

Why not?

So, maybe I do have 5 old mismatched chairs in my apartment but really, what is one more? I like them. I find them to be charming.

This one I found at Goodwill for only $3.50! I simply could not pass up this deal.

Isn't it lovely?

I'm all about some second hand stores. Huge advocate.

I definitely prefer old things.

four eyes.

I never wear glasses.

Not unless I'm forced to due to a freak eye scratch or right before I get into bed and go to sleep. I don't even really let people see me in glasses. I'm too insecure.

These are a cheap fake pair that I bought a while ago but I'm considering turning them into prescription lenses and wearing them from time to time to overcome my insecurity and also give my eyeballs room to breathe every now and again.

Whaddya think? Too big? Too dark? Just right? Stick to contacts?

tardy.

I didn't hear my alarm go off this morning thus causing me to be 20 minutes late for work.

You know- the "jump out of bed, freak out, run around your room hurredly, throwing things around, can't find anything to wear, hear is a mess, put your make up on in the car, forget something, speed the whole entire way to work" kind of late.

So frustrating and totally throws your entire day off.

Upon entering the office, I approached my boss and proclaimed "I have no cool story as to why I'm late and I'm a really bad liar, so I'm going to spare the both of us and just tell you that I really didn't hear my alarm go off this morning. I'm sorry."

It worked! He laughed and said, "Girl, you're cool! It happens."

:Huge sigh of relief:

Honesty really is always the best policy. Thanks Mama!

I'm swamped up to my ears in paperwork and I have a ridiculous amount of follow up's that I must complete today. Coffee is my best friend right now. I assure you that I will not be without a cup at any point today.

Here's to it being mid week.

Lord, please help this day pass quickly.

one week and ramona.

In exactly one week from today, I will be saying goodbye to Ben for an entire month. I know that this is nothing compared to some of you who have military husbands or boyfriends who go overseas for months or even, years at a time. I commend you, respect you and have so much admiration for you. I don't know how you do it.

It will be a long month to say the least. The good thing is, my whole family comes into town the very day that he leaves so I won't have too much time to be sad.

However, when they leave, I imagine I'll be a heap. Oh dear.

I can't wait to see them though!

_______________________________________

Do any of you remember this series?

These books were assigned to me by Mrs. Gum when I was in 2nd grade and I was obsessed. I read them all in no time.

Last night I learned that they are making a Ramona movie and nostalgia immediately set in as I so vividly remembered reading these books and being so into them when I was 8 years old.
I loved Ramona Quimby.

Yes, books are always better but I will definitely be seeing this in July. Don't make fun.

Hope you're all having a fantastic week so far!

music room.

My former roommate recently moved out as she will be getting hitched in a few short weeks and so I conveniently turned her old room into a music room :)

I can guarantee that lots of time will be spent in here.

Ben found this desk at a thrift store. I LOVE it.

Escape.

And yours truly. I love the mirrored closet. Makes the room feel so much more open.

This will be a fun project to work on. I'd like to get some things to hang on the walls and maybe a few more furniture pieces for this room but for the most part, I absolutely love it!

Happy Monday!

new oldies.

I received my cameras that I ordered off of etsy and also ventured out and did some antiquing and thrift store shopping and I think I officially have a collection...

Oh and the Beatles really have nothing to do with those but I did buy this photo for the wall above my record player furniture piece pictured here. Turned out quite nicely if I do say so myself.

That's all folks.

Don't forget your Mama's tomorrow. I won't be with mine :( So sad.

Concert Recap.

Okay, blogger won't let me upload videos. So, pictures will just have to suffice :)

Ben and I before the concert started.

In all her glory.

Amazing set.

Confetti.

There ya go. It was fun and I really enjoyed seeing her live. If you're a fan and she's anywhere near you on this tour, I definitely recommend going. It was great.

Weekend love!

Confession Friday.

I have a somewhat strange confession to make. One that I'm often made fun of for actually.

I HATE my arms.

Don't ask me why. I just do.

I always have something to cover them whether it be a cardigan, sweater etc. I just do not like exposing them because I am so self conscious about them.

Isn't that so silly?

It's really very inconvenient. I wish so badly that I could overcome this ridiculous quirk.

Do you have a similar and/or a weird quirk that you struggle with?

Thursday's Thoughts.

Carrie Underwood's show was without a doubt, one of the coolest things I've ever witnessed. The production, music, sets, props etc. It was all just phenominal.

We had SUCH a good time!

Her voice is insane. I envy it. Seriously.

I took a ridiculous amount of pictures and video that I will share with you but I haven't had time to upload and sort them yet.

I can't not mention that today is the National Day of Prayer.

Most of you know that I am pretty open about my faith and belief's. I never, in any way want to offend any of my readers so I deter from dogmatically airing out my opinions and beliefs on this public forum. However, my faith is strong and is essentially, the core of who I am.

More often than not, I fear that I may offend someone by what I write, so I refrain. I'm coming to realize that I also have freedom of speech just as much as anyone and afterall, this blog is my outlet. My place to unwind and therapeutically release what is inside of this ever racing brain and heart of mine.

God has blessed me with a beautiful life, placed incredible people in my path and has given me more than I deserve. The very least I can do is give Him all the glory and share my heart and love for Him.

This morning is beautiful. The sun is shining perfectly and the skies are outrageously blue. I am reflective and thankful.

I'm so thankful. I'm thankful for health, breath in my body and a beating heart. I'm thankful for hope, faith and restoration. I'm thankful that God is a God of mercy and grace and that our grievances can be forgiven. I'm thankful for a healthy family and boyfriend. I'm thankful for the love that I am showered with every single day. I am so blessed.

My heart is heavy for my nation and for all of the unfortunate occurances that are affecting lives and hearts everywhere. My heart hurts for people around the world who are less fortunate than we are and yet all we do is complain and are ever wanting more. My prayers are with the broken and the hurting, the ones who are victims of injustice and those who are risking their lives overseas. I pray for our leaders and for our President, that God would bestow the wisdom to make decisions that will better our country and homeland. My prayers are with the defenseless, the precious babes who are aborted every day because they're "inconvenient", "unplanned", "unafforded" etc. Human life created with a purpose and destiny, yet they are labeled a "choice". My heart aches at this injustice and my prayers are with those who cannot speak for themselves. My prayers are with the victims of the repulsive and appalling ever increasing sex slave industry, for the innocent women and children who are taken, used, abused, ruined and eventually killed for sick entertainment and pleasure.

There is so much going on around us that we are so unaware of and blinded to. Prayer is vital and essential. I realize that not everyone believes so, but I have no doubt in my mind that God honors a people of prayer.

So on this National Day of Prayer, I pray.

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."

-2 Chronicles 7:14-

mine.

I just ordered these babies to add to my small but growing vintage camera collection...

I'm quite excited and I heart etsy.

The end.