First of all, I want to thank you all for your sweet comments and words of advice/input on my last blog. It's encouraging to know that I can be real on here and share my struggles with others who undoubtedly deal with similar struggles and challenges. I really appreciate all of your words. They mean more than you know.
I'm somewhat groggy today due to a lack of sleep and a mind flooded by many thoughts and concerns. Life really has gotten a bit crazy lately and I am aware that some tough times are ahead of me. I'm okay with it and a serene peace has flooded my soul but it's very easy to allow confusion, doubt and worry to quench this peace that I feel. Last night was a prime example.
Essentially, we have to be out of our house in 5 weeks and as of last night, it looks as though we have nowhere to go (for now at least). Frightening.
The timing is just awful with the holidays right around the corner and if you know our family then you know that this time of year is perhaps overdone a bit in our home. We love to have people over to share meals and celebrate with. We have so many traditions and ways of doing certain things every year. It's hard to believe that any of this is reality, but it is and it will undoubtedly punch me in the stomach in the next couple of weeks as we near closing and begin to store our belongings.
I personally know so many people who are struggling financially and it breaks my heart. We've been thrust in the mix and while money has really never been something we've had a ton of, we've always been "okay". Money is not everything. It really isn't. However, it is imperative to our livelihood. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that something will eventually work out. The not knowing is the hardest part though. I have a pretty secure job, thankfully and I honestly don't even know how long I will be around these parts but seeing my family is such distress over finances pains me to no end. I can do as much as I can to do my part and help but in the end, it doesn't do very much.
Maybe I'm being a little too honest on here as of late but I feel as though this is my outlet and believe it or not, your similar situations and encouraging words bring me so much relief and hope.
Faith and trust. Two small words that have taken on an even more significant meaning lately. God is so much bigger than all of this. I am so thankful that I can trust Him in the midst of this storm and though I am blind to what is before me, He knows the outcome and He is FOR US, not against us.
I know that we will look back upon this as a test of faith and a time where we learned the importance of trusting HIS will above ours.
But where is that light at the end of the tunnel? Close, I hope.
This scripture comes to mind...
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." -Matthew 6:25-34
And last but not least a line from a song that has been resounding within my spirit since these series of unfortunate events have unraveled.
"One thing I know that I have found
Through all the troubles that surround
You are the Rock that never fails, You never fail"
From the song Everlasting God by New Life Worship
Beautiful and oh so true.