Friday, June 6, 2008

So, I've come to the profound conclusion that "I" will never be perfect or meet perfection's standards. I know, deep right? Well in reality it is to me. I'm well known for allowing everyone's opinions and expectations of me dictate what I did and how I lived. Always afraid of letting someone down, so I let them walk all over me as I politely gave them the permission to do so. I do love to be a source of help and someone that can be depended on, but you know it's gone too far when you feel bad for staying home and sleeping rather that working when you're overly exhausted and drained. Guilty for wanting to rest? Sounds lame I know. There are days that I just want to go to the other side of the country all by myself and just do whatever I want and go wherever I want with an endless amount of money to waste and just see and do all there is do to. Then again, I am not THAT independant. I'm afraid of going to wal mart by myself at night. I can dream though. I often wonder what it would be like to do something like that, forget all of my responsibilites and just take off! Most know that Amber would never do such a thing, she's always everywhere on time and she always has everything together. But just for one day to be irresponsible and do something so totally out of the ordinary would be so exciting but I know I'd feel guilty the entire time...haha. So, I refrain. Maybe someday I'll conquer that and do something crazy, until then I'll be in the office every day from 8:00-5:00 =\

It doesn't hurt to dream.

Summer is here! I'm ready for weekends at the beach and sunkissed skin! I'm sure I'll be there all this weekend! =)

much love.


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