Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Prosperity Preachers in America

This is something I wrote a while ago but I thought I'd post it on here...

Prosperity Preachers in America
By Amber D. Collins

You stand with such stammer and talk with such skill

You explain "to give all" is to be in God’s will

"Sow your seed, give your alms, pledge what you have not

God will only bless you if you give all that you’ve got!

You promise them wealth, prosperity and gain

You take what they give without any shame

The poor and the needy, you get them good too

Saying "If you don’t have any money, just give me your shoes!"

God will see your "sacrifice" and will bless you ten-fold

In less than ten days you will find a pot of gold

That bonus you just got for your hard work and sweat

Give all that to me, just wait and see what you’ll get!

I’ll put your name on the gold wall in my million dollar jet!

I promise you’ll find true prosperity in the next year

Please be faithful in sending your pledges my dear

We need every dime to fuel up our jets

And pay our chauffeurs to drive our Cadillacs

How blessed we are, "such Men of God", for all that we’ve given, God’s given us more

We want you to experience what he has in store

If you want to find wealth and stay out of debt trouble

God will wipe out your debt, but you must give me double!

No worries if you can’t pay your bills or insurance

You can rest in God’s faithfulness and in His assurance

He will provide for you if you give me all

He will supply but you must heed my call

Don’t delay, call this number as soon as you can

Operators are assisting and we’ll send you a fan

Please advise them to wipe out your entire account

and I promise tomorrow you’ll have more than you can count!

If you call in 2 minutes you’ll not only get a fan

but we’ll also provide you with a miniature Jan!

So, do not delay any longer, God is watching you close

You will not be blessed if you keep your wallet closed.

If you haven’t got money we accept credit cards

Just be generous and have faith that your credit won’t be marred

You need a little healing along with that?

Buy our miracle spring water, it will heal you in fact

Just a sprinkle on your nose hairs each morning and night

You’ll wake up with full pockets and be full of delight

Just 20 dollars a bottle, it will last you a month

You’ll find that your healing will come with this gunk

If you come on our program and lie about your results

We’ll give you this miracle water for 10 years in bulk!

Straight from Mount Zion this stuff it comes, to heal sick and diseased

Even those with allergies

Crazy Doctors haven’t tried it, guess they haven’t got the faith

that this cheap bottled water could change someones fate

If you do not respond within the hour

You’ll be robbed of your blessing and you’ll miss out on the power

So again as I say, don’t delay call us now

Your increase is on the verge, you decide when and how!

Double portion, double finance

Double this, double that

I’m beginning to see double

Don’t you worry, just relax

Oh I have a word for billy and bob

Or maybe was it willy, oh wait no it is rob!

Whatever the case, you have a backache!

Just bendover backwards and lick your toes

You’ll feel a little pain and away it will go!

Don’t forget to pledge your dollars and sprinkle night and day

If for one year you are faithful, on our mailing list you will stay!

"Those who oppress the poor to increase their wealth and those who give gifts to the rich—both come to poverty."-Proverbs 22:16"

But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let that person be under God’s curse! 9 As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let that person be under God’s curse."Galatians 1:8-9

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