“Deliver me, O Jesus:
From the desire of being esteemed
From the desire of being loved
From the desire of being honored
From the desire of being praised
From the desire of being preferred to others
From the desire of being consulted
From the desire of being approved
From the desire of being popular.
Deliver me, O Jesus:
From the fear of being humiliated
From the fear of being despised
From the fear of being rebuked
From the fear of being slandered
From the fear of being forgotten
From the fear of being wronged
From the fear of being treated unfairly
From the fear of being suspected
And, Jesus, grant me the grace
To desire that others might be more loved than I
That others might be more esteemed than I
That in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I decrease
That others may be chosen and I set aside
That others may be preferred to me in everything
That others may become holier than I, provided that I, too, become as holy as I can.”
(Mother Theresa, A Simple Path)
Notice the two paragraph's where she is asking to be delivered she repeatedly uses the words "desire" and "fear". These two feelings and emotions are probably two of the strongest we, as humans experience. We all fear something and we all crave something. I know that I, in my human-ness fear many things such as rejection, disappointing someone, and not measuring up. I desire to be noticed, I secretly desire for my efforts to be praised and I desire to be loved. I believe we have all faced and come to grips with every single one of these desires and fears and obviously even Mother Theresa had. That is why she prayed "Deliver me- rid me of these desires and fears and grant me the grace to desire that others be more loved than I and more esteemed than I...etc." How I wish I were more like this- it's very easy to pray a prayer like this or post it as a blog for inspiration for yourself and others, but may it not just be inspiration. So often I am inspired by something or someone and I leave it at that- may I become influenced, affected and alter my persona and character to reflect what it is that had the power of moving my intellect and emotions.
Deliver me, Jesus and humble me.
On another note, an older man just came into our office to file a life insurance claim as he deplorably stated that his wife had just passed away. My heart was overwhelmed with sadness for him. His demeanor could not have been more grief stricken as he sweetly stated why he was here. I seriously could feel the tears surfacing as I looked into his empty and sorrowful eyes. So heartbreaking. I can't imagine losing the love of your life- yes, she was of age and had probably lived a long and fulfilled life, but it's still so unbelievably sad. Death can be so inconvenient- here you are living and loving and then it comes and so abruptly interrupts. Bless him. I hope he grieves with hope.