Monday, August 4, 2008

I'm clearly an observer of life- I take the time to notice small and what may seem to be insignificant things. I love the beauty of discovering and unveiling mystery, yet never coming close to understanding what it is that so intrigues me. I am inspired from within and by those around me who are uplifting and whose personas compel and motivate me to do good and to love more.

My thoughts are scatterred recollections within my brain originating from my heart. I tend to write just what I am thinking and words flow endlessly- it's almost as if I open a well and the water supply is just so deep that I can't reach the end. I have the ability to capture my conceptions and perceptions through words and music- it is my mere escape. Ever since I can remember, reading enhanced my desire to write and I never complained about having to write a book report, short story or paper. In fact, I enjoyed doing it so much so that I would do it simply for pleasure with no intent of being graded or noticed. I felt that I could vaguely and somewhat accurately depict what it was that was dwelling within my soul. Over the years I have filled many journals and notebooks with dreams, accomplishments, goals, attempts, failures, successions, disappointments and many emotions. Once that pen would strike the paper, it was over and I could sit for hours and just write what was being done within me. I know that it comes from within, from He who has the ability to inspire and enhance my desires and efforts.

In the secrecy of my bedroom I could sit in silence and have thousands of subjects running through my head for me to write about but once I began it would immediately change. Almost as if my brain would shut down and my pen would dance across the page elegantly and the outcome would always surprise me- it wasn't me. My heart was being laid bare upon paper and through words and expressions that were far beyond me.

In these small things I take such pleasure and delight- writing and music do something deep within me that is almost impossible to convey or describe. I know that God has placed these desires within me and whatever He does with them is fine with me, whether they remain bound within my heart and sacred little notebooks and journals or turned into a book or biography one day about that one girl who only needed a pen and paper to make life come more alive- in her world at least. Who's to say? I'm not a very ambitious person- I get by and I really don't have a huge desire that my giftings from God bring me wealth because they already have in a deep sense and truly profound way.

No comments: