Monday, August 18, 2008

Recent Discoveries

Recently, I've come to the realization that I am a little burnt out and I've taken the past couple of nights off and just slept- how refreshing.

My mouth has finally encountered some sort of relief, thank God. Those antibitics have really worked. I am scheduled for my root canal this wednesday =/ On the positive side, it will be nice to have the day off of work :) I guess it's good to find something to be thankful for in everything.

I am realizing that I am not spending near as much time in prayer and in the word as I used to and that MUST change. I do not like that "time" has become an excuse as well as "tired". This needs to be my #1 priority again.

I can't believe how much things are changing around me- I still feel like the same old me, as if nothing new and exciting is taking place. My life seems so redundent.

I've been reading this book called "Redeeming Love" recently and I would definitely recommend. It is an amazing book that instantly captures your attention and grips you. I love the story line and the depth behind this book, it's incredible and absolutely spellbinding. Francine Rivers is a genius and her way with words is so very captivating. The heart behind this book is to somehow give you a picture of what God's love is for us- how we can run from him time after time, and turn our backs on Him yet His love is still there in pursuit of us. It's a fiction novel with an amazing plot, unforgettable characters and beautiful moral. It's a retelling of the book of Hosea in the Bible and an absolute must-read!

My best friend...well she's amazing and I'll be SO unbelievably sad if she moves again. I can't even think about it. I am happy for her, but not in that aspect. Is that selfish?

The last couple of days, when not at work the only place I want to be is locked up in my bedroom. I don't know what the deal is, but I have not felt up to being around people. I'm around people all day, every day that sometimes I just want to be left alone. However, I know that I can't shut out my family either although they're never really home anyway.

Still single- no prospects. Nothing, nada, zilch. Not complaining, just sayin'.

I went to church for the first time in a long time yesterday. Is that awful? For the first time in my entire life, I do not have a church. I am still a Christian and I still love God wholeheartedly. Going to church does not make you a christian as much as not going to church does not make you a sinner. I am praying about where to go. Right now my only two choices are both about an hour away in opposite directions and I just cannot afford to make that drive once a week. However, I am witnessing the importance of having that stability in my life. I acknowledge that I need it.

My favorite song at the moment is "Healer". If you have not heard it, go and listen. It's on Hillsong's new album, "This is Our God" (great cd by the way). It's amazing and it makes me cry everytime. I'm going to post the story of the song on here later because it's phenominal.

Sadly, another well known professed "man of God" has announced that he and his wife are separating and opening remarks on his website state that he had entered into an unhealthy relationship with another woman on his staff. When will we get it?? I am sick of seeing and hearing all of this stuff. It's awful and it shouldn't be. God, help us to see our hearts and humble ourselves. I know that we're all human and that we all fail and make mistakes. I can understand that and I can forgive that. I'm sorry, but I do not understand how a "preacher" can get by doing something such as this. Aren't you held to a higher standard, pastor? Don't you preach the bible? Possibly you created your own doctrine and dooped everyone into believing that your "angel" affair was the cause of the greatest move of God that ever took place. I doubt it. Hype and emotionism is what it seemed to me. However, I can accept the fact that I could be wrong- I did not go, but the things I've heard and watched from those services kind of scared me. I am aware that the fact remains that God uses flawed people. If that were not so, there would be no Christian in ministry anywhere.
Just to make things clear, regardless of what one thinks about the Lakeland "revival", I can't help but think that it is completely unbiblical. Mind you, Bentley and his followers are people who claimed to be visited by angels, claimed to be prophets, talked about their visits with the apostle paul and claimed to "heal" people. Now, I have full faith that God in His splendor does heal, He is a healer and ONLY HE has the ability to heal. Self proclaimed prophets and evangelitsts do not have to knee you in the stomach or push you over in order for you to receive your healing, that is a lie. The Bible simply states that faith is all we need, not a crazy person to knock the wind out of us. I pray that Todd Bentley would be humbled by the Lord and that any damage that has been done to believers and followers of his "revival" would not fall away completely. I've seen it more than once, when let down, disappointed and hurt by a ministry or minister, one has the tendancy to fall away and reject God, even though God had nothing to do with it. Scary stuff to mess with my friends, scary stuff.

That's all for now.

Thanks for faithfully reading all my blogger buddies. I hope your week was better than mine. Blessings!

*I know I have the tendancy to be brutally honest in my writings and I hope it does not come across as anger or bitterness. I am simply a broken human in need of God's divine grace and mercy and I have witnessed a lot of fake crap in ministry behind closed doors and to be quite honest it makes me sick to my stomach. I am not the type of person to jump the band wagon like I once was- nope. God has given me discernment and that "gut" feeling that ALWAYS leads me to the right choice, whether it be the first time or tenth time. I'll tell you what though, prayer and staying rooted in the word of God really helps and can prevent a lot of heartache. We're all learning. No one is perfect and I know that. I am not one to condemn, but I think it's really important to stick by my beliefs and stick by them always, in every situation. I still have so much to learn...

2 comments:

Andrea said...

I love "Redeeming Love"!!! I've read it twice and Jim has read it too. It gets me every single time. So powerful.

Something must be in the air because I too don't want to be around people much. I've been on the go lately and I just want to be left alone for some peace and quiet. Hopefully this will pass.

Danya said...

Amber!
(You should be really proud of me, I finally figured out how to get to your blog AND I'm leaving a comment - two big accomplishments in one day :)
Hang in there girl. I totally understand your frustrations with time and exhaustion (I overslept two hours yesterday morning - it was awful, I didn't get to work till 9:30 am - bottom line, I need to slow down.). I can relate to your desperation for more "God" time. And I certainly share your disgust for the sin in this broken world that runs so rampant within our leadership. All that to say, I can't wait for Jesus' return!
I'll be praying for your teeth issues this week! (Let me know how things go after Wednesday) I love you lots girl! Looking forward to hanging with you soon! Have a wonderful day! -d